How to challenge your negative thoughts

i'm sorry to hear how painful it's been thinking of dad, i know you worry for him and miss him a lot @BlueBay i'm really glad you were able to talk things through with your psych!! chatting to hubby sounds like a great goal to work on too.

is there anything else that could help, whether it's crafts or going for walks by the beach, or even spending some time with D? 💙

Good afternoon @BlueBay 💛

I am so glad to hear your psych held a safe and supportive space for you, and that they are open to a session with hubby - this is really positive!!

I know things are feeling overwhelming and dark, and I won't try and be overly positive or tell you to feel differently, because what you're going through is very real and very painful.

My only encouragement would be to keep reaching out when you notice these feelings come up, and if you can, slowly redirect your attention to what feels good. Even if it's just the sun on your face or your favourite music. Over time things will shift and change... we just have to create the space for it to do so. 🫶

thank you @AuntGlow

i just don't know how to feel anymore. i had a conversation with hubby this afternoon reg. intimacy and the lack of from my part because of my PTSD. he told me he understands and that there is no pressure from him.

now even though i heard what he has said - i now feel that i don't deserve any love from anyone because i don't love myself. i actually hate myself - is it because of the childhood sexual abuse; me self sabotage; i feel used by the perpertrators.

and do you know what - after crying so much while talking to hubby - do you think he gave me a hug; no!!

and i know what my psych wouyld say to that - well maybe you could ask him for a hug. my reply is - why do i have to tell a grown man nearly married for 40 years 'that i need a hug'. he is not a child but gee sometimes i feel like he is another child of mine.

i am sorry for ranting. i will stop.

Hey @BlueBay sounds like today was filled with really big conversations, good on you for talking to your hubby, I can imagine that took a lot of strength

It's completely understandable to want to have that comfort and to wish they just knew to hug you, I think that's a very human reaction to have.

Sending you gentle hugs at the end of this big day 💚

thanks for your support @rav3n

i am having an early night tonight, feeling exhausted from crying and talking.

Hi lovely @BlueBay 💜

I can hear that things are feeling super overwhelming, so I am sending you some hugs first of all!

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

How have things felt with your hubby over the last little while after your chat?

Hi @Jynx

nothing has really changed in reg with hubby.
he’s not a great talker. Maybe he’s processing what I said. I don’t know.

thank you for your hugs

my BP is playing up again. Now quite low. I don’t feel great with a sore throat and feel like I’m coming down with something.
Hope you’re well. I’ve missed chatting with you. Xx

Yeah definitely could be that he's still processing @BlueBay - we all process stuff a little differently, I know I need a bit of time to really work through stuff, sometimes it's not till a week later that it'll 'click'.

Sore throat is awful, and being sick makes everything harder hey 🥺 I hope it's just a bit of irritation and not some kind of virus!!

Aww you're so sweet. I am always down for chats, and I sometimes have a tendency to 'follow the tags' - so please don't ever hesitate to tag me in things, and I'll respond whenever I can 😋💜

This would have been a really vulnerable conversation to have @BlueBay. 💛

I hear you and that is an extremely painful place to be in... please know that you are not alone in this experience.

I can imagine that not feeling emotionally close or reassured by him would make feeling safe in intimacy really hard... Of course you needed and wanted a hug in this moment after sharing your pain with him. You absolutely deserve to be cared for and nurtured, especially in your more triggered moments.

I completely understand your resistance to asking him outright too - it sounds like you have done this many times already. Where is this all sitting with you now? I wonder if you could explore different ways of creating communication and connection here? 🥰

thanks @AuntGlow for your reply.

i suppose our communication can be better by going for walks; coffee at a cafe; day outings; lunch or dinner date. most of these we do already; it's just getting into the routine of communicating more.

I have had a rough day today. saw my psych this morning and wasn't good; talked about my parents and how much i am angry at my mum. you know all i ever wanted was a mum that would love me for who i am; support me and treat me nice. especially after i told her of my memories of childhood abuse. but instead i got nothing. no apology, no kiss, no hug. and i don't even know how much my dad knows. if my mum has anything to do with it he will no nothing. she is evil. and right now i could easily rip into myself or something at home.

i then saw my doctor as headaches again and my BP is high. he wants me to take all my meds and see how my BP goes.

i just feel so deflated, hated, judged, emotional, overwhelmed, sick and angry.

hi @Jynx @Ru-bee @rav3n and others reading on -