I am not doing so well

I am slowly getting sleepy @Zoe7 Have you had your meds?

Yep but nearly forgot again and took them late. It seems like the later I take them the harder it is to sleep. The change in times and dosages this week has thrown my routine out a bit. I will get it under control - just need to get used to the new times. I'm not stressing though - just waiting for sleep to come and trying not to worry about not sleeping and/or nightmares - progress!!!

You sleep @oceangirl - it's so good to hear that you can

Hi @oceangirl

How are you feeling today? Did you get in touch with your psychologist? I think you made a wise choice to defer your studies as feeling the way you are now you may not have coped with the load. It's there for you to take up again when you feel it's the right time to do so.

The knowledge around the change of life and how it impacts some women's lives is wanting...unless someone has been personally through it. A endocrinologist or a gynaecologist whom specialise in that area possibly would relate more regarding the impact. Personally the physical, emotional and mental impact for me was all consuming - the anxiety maddening; sleepless nights, irritability, depression and fatigue. A difficult phase to say the least. HRT was a live saver for me.

I am off to do some more volunteering this afternoon - I have been putting more hours in to cover people whom are away on holidays. I like working there helping others, talking to and meeting people - it is a good sense of achievement. So glad to read your volunteering experience is offering you fulfilment also. I always felt it would be.

Putting myself out there back in the world within limits and confronting my fears gradually was the hardest first step towards my healing from my mental breakdown (I did become agrophobic at one stage, couldn't go out alone without great anxiety). So taking that first step by confronting my fears of the outside world was the hardest. But necessary. Necessary because I was becoming "a prisoner of my own mind" - allowing fears and triggers to prevent me from doing things outside the home and making a life for myself - instead I was feeding my mental decline through isolating myself (listening too much to negative self talk and giving into it). The latter will result in actually making our minds weaker and mental isssues became worse. So I knew I had to take a leap of faith and start facing what I was afraid of, facing the triggers I was avoiding and keeping my mind captive and in that dark place - and pushing through them. The first step of recovery for me.

Sometimes we need to take a leap of faith, as yes my friend that is always the hardest step to take when overwhelmed by the domino effect. Can relate well. But when we take it a step described above then we take that first step towards a better quality of life. Sometimes it can be frustrating when deciding which road to take, which direction to take that first step. You will work it out, you will have a "light bulb moment". The important thing to remember is when you do "don't let your fears or lack of confidence (this is the main issue I feel) - stop you".

That is so important. When you know what you want, is best for you - take that leap, that chance. Otherwise we become stuck in a pattern of mental anguish. When you are inspired to move forward, remember the achievement of your volunteering - hold onto that confidence and step forward as that is what you are capable of - success. The volunteering was a great step for you as I always believed it would be 🤗 xxx

@Former-Member,

Did you know Estrogen actually has stress-relieving properties? That may be why HRT is working for you... but there is an actual CAUSE of stress in your environment as well. (No point just managing the constant flow of symptoms - need to turn off the tap) IE antisocial people not being very nice, other health problems, seeing a bright future.

Hi @SGde3

Thanks for your input. The science of HRT works on relieving stress/anxiety/depression because it is directly correcting the Hormonal imbalance of low levels of estrogen and progesterone that was "creating "menopausal" anxiety and depression initially". That is the medical evaluation explained by my specialist and is why it is working for me.

Other issues that can arise from environmental stressors that you mentioned I have also worked on for many years prior which is explained in my last post and I am in a much better place now. And here I am supporting @oceangirl with similar struggles.

To work on these personal environmental added stressors effectively we need to address any physical ailments that can trigger anxiety and depression, such as menopause, alleviating the associated depression/anxiety first, otherwise we won't cope with any of the added environmental personal stressors you mentioned and as a result become less efficient in dealing with life. Hence the domino effect. 🙂

@Zoe7

I hope you can get in a better rountine before bed. I can't remember if you do any relaxation before bed, I have just downloaded (smiling app)- and I had been listening to one each night before bed.I think I was able to do this because I was generally feeling better. I know natually we generally get tired around 9pm, I am not sure what time you are taking your meds?

I've just been to the post office I had to post a parcel and go to the bank- I've just had some lunch. I think going out has reduced my anxiety. I know it must be quite distressing for you to sleep and somehow you are going to have to find something that makes you feel safe and more comfortable at night.

Thinking of you @Zoe7

Well done @oceangirl for getting out. As explained in my last post to you (4th from top of this page in case you missed it) - getting out does relieve anxiety and is good for our mental health as we are not sitting at home mulling over our worries in our minds feeding the negative self talk. It's about balance. Glad to read you are feeling better. Hope you are having a better day too @Zoe7. Thinking of you both 💕Xx

Hi @Former-Member

I am feeling a bit better today. I did see your message, and I just had to make a few phone calls.I had to phone my mum she is in hospital and also phoned the hospital re hospital admission. I know this will most definitely help me and put back on the right path again.

I have done a bit of research but there is not much discussion in general about menopause and most women generally don't talk about it. I might be wrong but that is my observation but I think that is slowly changing.

I am glad to hear you are off doing some volunteer work today, I am doing an extra shift this week on Sunday afternoon. The situation is similar at the zoo with people away on holidays, I have put my hand up to cover some extra shifts. I enjoy meeting new people too and helping out at the zoo- general public and staff at the zoo.

I understand your struggles and I think you are amazing @Former-Member . You have shown so much character and strength and I take my hat off to you.I know the road ahead is not going to be linear or straightforward but I do know I have people like yourself walking beside me and I am walking with you along your journey too.I have put my focus on finding my own voice and being true to myself and living my life with integrity because I believe that will bring me a better quality of life. I think I am more ready to go into hospital, and if that happens I will be grabbing this opportunity with both hands.

The leap of faith will come, and I have been courageous in the past, and I have trusted the process. Your advice is spot on and I think my first step is to get better first and I know I can't wait for things to be perfect because that is not going to happen. I am slowly building my confidence and esteem back up with my volunteer work & exercise program.

Hopefully talk to you some more soon xox

@Former-Member I have my assessment for hospital tomorrow.

@oceangirl

I prefer not to give advice, I am not a careers counsellor .. it was just my actual rehab experience which seemed relevant to highlight your psychs opinion .. as not being the whole story.. your desire to EP might be the go .. The tafe quals are quicker and might work too ..

Decisions are best made when you are feeling mentally at peace .. if going to hospital and learning some skills to help manage it

I am not sure what public health MA he has .. they are English.. I have actually looked at it a bit for my self in Melbourne .. but think it might be too pie in the sky for me .. just an idea..not a solid direction... and then last night I was dreaming aboiut doing a legal studies course .. now where did that come from! Probably partly this conversation and that I got an envelope from a law firm and i have to make decisions about that!

If your volunteering is going well then its wise to keep listening to what works. Keep listening to yourself but also taking steps and consoldating.

Studying is great, but not the answer to everything

or right ALL the time.

Give Kira a hug

I thought @Former-Member discussion about isolating and the mind was really good .. but it is only you that can make that call .. I am not as good with decisions as I was ... so I make less.