I am not doing so well

Hi @oceangirl

I do relate to that domino effect - health issues, emotional issues, stress, feeling alone in it etc; feeling generally overwhelmed. And this is so draining. It is good that you are pacing yourself presently and not pushing too much just now - without totally isolating yourself. I found when I felt like that staying home too much and not keeping up a somewhat normal rountine sent me spiralling downward mentally.

It really does sound like you have excelled at your volunteer work. That's a real achievement and must make you feel good. Congrats my friend. Is there any possibility of making this type of work a career or does that not interest you?

It does sound like your psychologist is perhaps not a good fit for you and maybe this is partly why you are feeling a bit lost now. Do you feel you may be better off to try another therapist or do you think this new psychologist may get better in time once she gets to know you? It's not good for us when we feel those who counsel "don't get us". I have experienced that in the past myself and have usually came out of the session feeling worse like you did. And it's never good to feel pressured in a session.

Have you made a decision on your studies yet or is that one of the issues you wish to discuss with your psych more?

I will check in on you again tomorrow my friend to see how you are feeling. I care about you very much. Sweet dreams my friend 💕🌹xx

Are you ok @oceangirl ?

@Zoe7 I have generally been sleeping better up until I think Monday night. I don't think any strange messages where left to anyone.

I glad to hear you had a good day and sorry you had a minor melt down this afternoon. Its good that you were able to have a distraction. I spend the entire day in bed and basically slept the entire day.

Nothing is too hard for me to do but just giving myself some time to think things through. I am still feeling really uneasy and I just have to just take one step at a time.

How is the weather in NZ lol?

@Zoe7 No I am not okay.

But tomorrow is going to be better

Baby steps @oceangirl

The weather was beautiful in NZ today lol - about 28 degrees, sunny and no wind!!!

Toby took Bessie to the beach this morning lol - really nice and quiet!

Had my usual daily chemist pickup and GP appointments this afternoon - appointment went really well and I think it was the relief when I got home that sent me into a bit of a meltdown. I did pick myself back up by distracting myself with the housework - was still really nice weather so I think that helped.

I know you aren't really ok - what can we do to help?

@Zoe7

I am glad Toby took you to the beach today. I have not forgotten

Great you had such a good appointment with your GP and I am glad you are doing so well.

I'll just have to pick myself up. I have only one option and that is to be strong.

I didn't think you would have forgotten! Was hoping it would make you smile @oceangirl

I am doing ok but I am also not kidding myself that there will not still be ups and downs.

You are strong - you have got this far by being amazingly strong and being able to pick yourself up and keep going. It's just a really tough time for you at the moment. You can get through this and I will be here to help you if you want I believe in you - you know that - and want the best for you

@Former-Member Thanks for understanding my friend

You are quite right it is quite draining and just trying to contain things atm. It makes me feel better talking to you because I know you understand what I am going through and the domino affect. I think the hardest thing to do is to take the first step after everything crashing around me and feeling so drained.

I am doing well at my volunteer work and that gives me some routine on a Monday and a sense of acheivement. Thank you for your kind words. I am not sure if I could make a career out of it but I do enjoy it and I am gaining people skills.

I am not sure if she is the right fit for me and I do leave there feeling worse then when I arrived. I think its because it has taken so long to get to this point with her and initially I did connect with her but that was lost quite early because she never really picked up on my low hormone because I told her that was my major concern and she never really talked to me about it and how that impacts you (depression and anxiety).

I think the decision will be that I am not going to study at this point, I can't say forever but not this year. I could speak with her some more but I think that it will just make things harder for me to make a decision. I have to accept I am not well enough to study and that is hard for me to do but I think next week I will be happy I can go back to focusing on my volunteering work and building myself up slowly.

I will wait to hear back from you hopefully tomorrow. I care about you a lot too. Sleep tight @Former-Member

It did make me smile @Zoe7. At first I thought Toby drove the car to the beach lol. I had to read it twice.

I am glad you are feeling better and hopefully with some rest and self care you will start to feel more like your old self.

I had been doing well and I had been training everyday last week and I think I may have done too much. I was putting a lot of pressure on me.

Thank you for being here for me and always having my best interest at heart. I think it is almost bedtime for me.

I think having a few things sorted and having some of the pressure taken off me has helped in the last week - as well as the new meds!!! Even though I miss work and the kids I am no longer putting any pressure on myself to return until I am ready - that might be a couple of months or a lot more (my gut feeling is a lot more).

I was also putting too much pressure on myself to do too much - so I understand how that can affect you. Slow down and just do what you can - you will get there

I have told you before - and I will tell you again - I will always be here for you - and I know you know that - when and if you need. Time for me to repay what you have done for me - you have been the 'lightness in my step' and the wings helping me to fly

Sleep well @oceangirl Tomorrow is a new day