I am not doing so well

@Appleblossom - I always love reading your posts 💕🌹

Its interesting that you mentioned dreaming about doing a course in legal studies - I could really see you doing that myself. There is a lot of volunteer work to be had for people who have knowledge in that area.

I am all up in arms over decision making myself presently - I think I am stressing out over purchasing another property, always a major decision. So I am leaving it in the good hands of my husband and will trust his decision on finalising this one. 😉

Hello again @oceangirl

Glad to read that you are feeling better. How is your mother now? I think your observations are correct about women generally not talking about menopause - so many just refer to it as feeling depressed, tired, sweaty, sleep deprived, moody and anxious - and don't make the link. And many GPs lack knowledge in this area too. As could some psychologists. You can find all the information you need by reading Dr Sandra Cabots books on menopause. I found them very helpful.

I didn't stay for long at the shop this afternoon as the person who was away turned up. So I had a reasonably quite day, which allows me to post here more.

You definitely do have me walking beside you and we will walk this journey together till the end. Yes, living with integrity - what is the point of gaining the world and losing ourselves in the process?. That is the equivalent of going through life with no integrity. No character. Just empty. You have a good formula for a better quality of life. Let that be your confidence.

You are also spot on the money - if we wait until life is perfect to take a leap of faith it will never happen. That is just not reality. Life will never be perfect or easy, but we can make it better by taking well thought out educated risks with not letting our state of mind hold us back (emotions drag us back).

The time we take that leap of faith is when "the opportunity arises", not in our timing or when we feel better , life doesn't wait for us I have discovered.... and we need to always try and prepare ourselves to grab that opportunity with both hands when it arises to the best of our ability. Having faith in that "we will cope and succeed by doing our best". Not letting doubts and insecurities stop us but take a leap.

The very meaning of that phase is "believing that good will result even though it is against the odds at the time", even though it is at odds with our fears and darkness looms in our minds" - that is the time to take a leap!

I have taken my biggest leaps when in times of greatest adversity and mental distress. If we wait to all is well, we won't move forward. It won't happen and we stay stuck. As it is only by taking that leap that anything will change.

So many times I wanted to quit my work at the charity shop because of the stress at home, so many times I felt I couldn't cope, so many times I had to push myself to get there. And the sacrifice and determination paid off big time as with the resulting sense of achievement and purpose has lead to the healing of healthier mindset and a better quality of life. A person with direction rather than feeling lost.

Personally I don't set the banner too high - I just do what I can and do my best to my capacity at the present moment, and when there is an opportunity to do more or something better presents itself - I take it.

That leap of faith came for you when you venture into your volunteering. And another leap will happen when you gain the insight and inspiration to follow your heart and pursue the purpose for what you were put on the earth for without holding back. When you believe in yourself more this insight into your purpose and what path to take will grow. Only you will know this and where your heart is leading you. Trust in your own instincts without letting others put you off course.Then you will take it and not look back...Lots of love and will talk soon

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@oceangirl73 wrote:

Hi again @Phoenix_Rising

I am sorry to hear your day was not a good one. Hopefully tomorrow will be better- what helps to ground you or makes you feel a bit better. I am just feeling depressed and anxious tonight. I am still really alone but I do get comfort from my forum family and my staffy dog Kira.

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Hi @oceangirl, Things that make me grounded/help me feel better are talking things out with someone (this is my most preferred strategy but I am super limited in being able to do it because I am so isolated), lying under my weighted blanket, cuddling my toy turtle, sitting in my garden, playing my violin, being anywhere near water (ocean, river, lake etc.). Today was another challenging day in my world, but that's ok, it's nearly over, and there's always tomorrow.

@Former-Member ☺

I'm just visiting my mum now. I am starting to get a bit tired-I had to call in to see my specalist on the way down to see my mum. She wants me to start taking meds for anxiety- what do you think? I rather manage it with exercise.The meds she wants me to take are addictive.

My mum looks quite bright today.

I agree no one seems to discuss it(menopause ) and make the link to MI. I am not sure why that is the case and if its another taboo subject. Many women just brush it under the carpet.

I am hoping this year I continue down the right path. In talking to my mum about going into hospital-I've not told her yet. I think I might wait until its confirmed before saying anything to her.

I am bit disappointed about not doing EP course , I worry about the cost of study and if its worth it. Its a lot of money if I can't use the degree on completion.

Its only 6.30pm here but I will have to leave soon. So much to think about. Thanks for all your help.

Talk to you soon @Former-Member

Hi @oceangirl

Hope the visit with your mum goes well and that your mother is on the mend. This must be also lying heavily on you.

You asked me what I think of taking addictive meds for anxiety. I think they are "really bad news" and have experienced this personally. They actually make ones anxiety worse in the long run. They are only good for what they were intended for - "short term emergencies"(e.g. In shock, when someone dies, if experiencing a trauma etc), for a short period of time (2-4 weeks before addiction sets in). They have hellish side effects when weaning off them if on them for too long that replicates chronic anxiety, with many thinking they are relapsing - making it very hard to come off them at all. Usually life long dependency forms as a result.

My mother was offered anxiety meds for menopausal anxiety - she is still on them 40 yrs later. They use to do this in the old days a lot. If you wish to treat menopausal anxiety with meds you are safer on a course of anti-D for up to 12 mths.

Whoever advised this is not looking at treating the cause of your anxiety but offering a bandaid as they don't know what else to do. In my eyes they should be addressing those other physical and psychological factors that "are causing the anxiety" first and foremeost. That is the best long term solution for anxiety without the damaging side effects.

Summed up:- Anxiety meds are "the very last resort when all else has been tried first and exhausted".

CBT and counselling are the best coping strategies for anxiety. Learning to address the thought processors that produces anxiety (positive talk back to the fearful/worrying/catastrophic thoughts) is the best long term solution with a qualified psychologist who specialises in anxiety disorders etc. If the anxiety is related to menopause ( I suffered chronically from this as well as psychological anxiety, e.g. worrying about the future, catastrophic thinking, fears etc) - but the best form of treatment for menopausal anxiety is Hormonal replacement to address and correct the cause. When it is of a physical nature like this, no amount of talking about it will help. Some women choose HRT or anti-do that treat anxiety or both.

I highly advise against addictive meds.

When you are feeling anxious - try and write down the thoughts that are going through your mind at that time. And perhaps share it here for discussion if you feel comfortable with doing so. This will help reduce the anxious thoughts.

Certainly financial considerations are to be weighted up when making decisions as to what future academic pursuits to purse. I don't have a lot of knowledge of the course you are wanting to undertake, when you have some time could you explain it to me please? I am a big believer in pursuing what one loves to do and what gives an individual purpose, then having faith that it will work out in the end If meant to be. That way there are no regrets. How necessary is this degree in pursuing your chosen career and is it a reputable education facility that offers it? (The latter is very important).

Does pursing this career course mean so much to you that money is a secondary factor? Does this degree/career goal hold a lot of meaning to you? Those are the questions to ask yourself then you will make the right decision. I will reserve further thoughts on this until I gain more feedback from you.

My thoughts are with you and your mum. Thinking of you both. Talk soon 💕🌹

Hi again @Phoenix_Rising

I am hoping you can find more peace of mind & comfort. I am glad you are able to find some strategies that help you. I like to curl up in bed with a heavy doona and blanket too. I enjoy gardening and sitting on the back verderah to catch the late afternoon breeze. I have always been a bit of a water baby so I love being around or in or near water too. I am sorry you had another challenging day but I hope tomorrow is better. 💖

Hi @oceangirl I didn't mean to make you cry sis. I just wanted to let you know how much you had helped me.

I had a really bad night and have slept most of today. I made it to my appointment and have been having some timeout since I came home. I need to do a lot of thinking and try and work out a way to get through this. I am ok - just trying to work out where to go from here.

I am always thinking about you and hoping you are finding some happiness in your life.

Always

Zoe