Tillogram

Hehe @Till23 lol I did think 3.30 was very keen on your training 😂🤭. Sorry I had that wrong 🤪, what were you competing in? How did it all go?

Also how’s the table tennis going? 😊

Thanks re my week, on a run of shifts, nights 😴😌, but only can get better right?🤞 I hope you have a good day today and good week ahead aswell!

I am very tired today. I had a big day yesterday, up early and doing a bit, but I should have recovered by now. I have had a very lazy day, just really mowing my back lawn and a couple of very minor garden things. I need to do a lot of things before Christmas, for Christmas.

I am very tired today. I had a big day yesterday, up early and doing a bit, but I should have recovered by now

@Till23 my awesome friend , sometimes recovering from big days take longer than other days

be kind and gentle to yourself xoxo

sitting with you

Thank you for sharing @Till23 💛

I can hear how complex and nuanced this experience is for you and I want to validate how truly confusing and painful it would be to sit in that space of passive suicidality - it can be so hard when we are experiencing such immense inner disconnect.

On the other hand, I do see very clear moments where this shifts for you; where you're connected to others and yourself. I know how much purpose means for you and I have so much faith in you cultivating a life that feels good for you - you are already on your way every time you show up for yourself, and you do this daily.

I understand that this time of year can add extra vulnerability... so I am wondering how we can provide a sense of solace for you during this time?

We want to help keep you safe, feeling supported, and knowing that whilst this feels so big right now - things can absolutely change.

Sending lots of love and big hugs your way, my friend. 💖

Thanks for your response @AuntGlow I hope you are not too busy this evening (although I understand the reality)..

Yes I do things..probably a fair amount of things

I do things because I feel I have to do something.

I'll let you get back to rest of forums

@Till23 sending hugs. Let me know if you would like to chat about your thoughts. As you know, a number of them are common to me too.

SI is my strongest motivator for tidying / putting away (or getting rid of things i no longer want) things in my house. I hear you on that feeling of not wanting to leave a mess behind for someone else to sort through.

hey @Till23, sounds like these heavy thoughts have been sitting there for a while now. when tragedies like the Bondi incident occurs, it can be hard to avoid those intrusive thoughts. i'm sorry that it's been heavy, and i really appreciate your vulnerability 💙

it wasn't until a few years ago that i even started 'liking' myself. i know how exhausting it can be pretending that we're okay, pretending like we want to be here. i guess i'm curious to know, what do you dislike about yourself? what would make you like yourself more? (if these questions are too hard for now, totally okay - no pressure to answer them)

often times, we have such high expectations for ourselves and we forget to give ourselves the same grace and kindness we give others.

i am finishing up in a few mins but i'll respond tomorrow 😊

Thanks @rav3n I hope you have a lovely evening

I don't feel as though I am particularly impacted by the Bondi incident, more than anyone else. I feel for the people involved but I have not been personally affected. .

.

Mainly I just want to be comfortable in society and not bw always watching, always seeing if I am being 'normal" enough

Depression and PTSD are terrible things, I've had cancer twice and I'd much rather have cancer.

Thanks for making me consider things, it does help to explore your own thoughts.

That sounds like my mr shaz @AlwaysMyself 😊

Thanks for your response @AlwaysMyself I think I am going to log off.. I have to get some things done and I need to be up early for volunteering tomorrow morning..

Thanks for your offer though I really appreciate it