Tillogram

Hi @AlwaysMyself I answered Jynx post first and so have covered a bit of what you have said in your post, in my response to Jynx post. I am quite aware of compassion fatigue and how to have strategies for managing it as I have worked in health-related fields. Which is why I mentioned that being immersed in forums has potential for negative consequences and the whole trying to pour from an empty cup thing.

I feel I have my own agency on the forums and can decide how much I engage. I was much more involved earlier and now I have decided to step back a bit. That decision is certainly not something that keeps me awake at night. I am completely ok with that decision, even though my natural inclination is to try and help people. If I don't feel I can do it, then that's ok, many other people are on the forums responding, guiding etc and I salute them and are thankful for their involvement in that way. I admire some people's staying power that's for sure, there are some who've been doing it for years,

@Till23 maybe I should change my forums name to 'zippedy-doo-da' or something hahaha cos I am zipping about a lot! I don't mind though, means I get to have all sorts of nifty conversations!

I hear you, it's more 'prevention' than 'cure' kinda dealio. I'm glad to hear you are prioritising yourself in this way hun.

I think for me, gratitude has been something I've had to practice pretty regularly for it to truly have impact. Which reminds me I haven't been keeping up with my gratitude practice! It varies depending on where I'm at, but can be as simple as taking a moment to watch a sunset, observe the bees in my garden, or writing some affirmations in my journal. But it is harder when I'm struggling, so I really get it.

I really understand that desire to have deeper conversations, I'm sorry that you don't feel like there's anyone in your life atm who can fulfil that for you. Is it a case where your attempts to delve deeper have been shut down or ridiculed?

Yes I agree @Jynx I can feel gratitude for seeing the bees and butterflies in my garden, or being able to watch and hear the wind in the trees. To listen to morning birdsong. To be able to have the freedom and time to enjoy nature is a privilege that people take for granted.

At the rate we are destroying the world the ability to do these things will happen less (but that's a whole other conversation.

I agree it's definitely harder when you are not feeling so good and as you say you really have to remember to do it. What I should do is make it a habit.

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People often listen to give a response not listen just to really understand something.

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@Till23 is there a gratitude thread around? I think there's one - but I know you maybe aren't wanting to commit daily energy to the forums, which is so valid. But could be a good space to practice it, and get to share the warm fuzzy feelings with the community. Food for thought anyhow 😊

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@Till23 wrote:

People often listen to give a response not listen just to really understand something.

I totally get this, I feel like active listening skills are seldom taught but often needed.

Your feeling of being 'in a plastic bag' is a vibe I have actually heard from a lot of autistic folks - this sense of being alienated/disconnected. Not saying it is exclusive to people with ASD but I wonder if it is a result of not truly fitting into modern society because it was made by and for neurotypicals. Could also be a defence mechanism against being hurt or ostracised when our vulnerability is perceived.

Hope your Friday is going ok 😊💜

@Till23 Thanks for your link for the best place to catch you 😊 I have always valued our chats!

Thanks for letting me know you would rather not be tagged in group tags, that is absolutely fine, always thinking of ya tag or not , but don’t want to add to you influx of msgs or clogging your inbox so thanks for letting me know ☺️

Hows your day been ? I still have a lot to learning to do on the forum I think and sometimes being one of the new ones, established threads can be hard to find to know where people’s landing spots are. So thanks again re your link 😊

Hi @Jynx hope you are having a good day. Yes, I am fairly sure there was a gratitude thread, there may even have been more than one. I can't remember what they were actually called but I'm sure I remember one or two. I am fairly sure I posted on one at least a few times.

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Thanks for responding to me I really appreciate it. I seem to not have the energy to reach out elsewhere.

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Anyhow, enough about me, I'll let you get back to other members

Hi @Chasingsunsets yes I have been here for nearly a year, but I am not across some threads at all and certainly am not across the forums as a whole. There are many things I don't understand.

When I joined earlier this year, I was observing a bit and then I became pretty active

I've started some threads about general MH topics .

I have chatted to some really lovely people on the forums and I have learnt a lot from other people.

@Till23 I have just as much time for you as I have for everyone else hun 😉

Yeah it makes sense that it's common for folks with ASD, and I think you're right about it being potentially closely related to attachment trauma. One of my autistic friends has wryly commented to me that 'there's no comparison studies for trauma and ASD because there's no untraumatised autistic people'. So it tracks that that feeling of alienation is common.

I think I adhere to this ideology about what 'counts' as being ND:

I mean this as a compliment, truly - but I do get ND vibes from you! The deep topics, disdain for small talk, and how you write. Obviously I'm not a clinician and I'm not trying to make any claims - I share this mainly to try to validate your experiences and also cos for me, figuring out I'm ND has helped me release a lot of shame and make more meaningful connections. Your journey is yours though, and totally up to you as to how you want to identify, how you make sense of yourself, you know?

That sense of alienation also kinda came up in this incredible book I read a little while ago, and I highly recommend it for anyone who has attachment trauma of any kind - it's called 'Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents' by Lindsay Gibson. It's a gut punch of a book, so be prepared if you decide to give it a go... but what I liked the most about it I think was that it gave very clear and simple insights into how attachment trauma impacts us across generations, but without being shaming or condemning of those who raised us.

Also.... not being able to relax is also a big ND mood 😅

Thanks for your response @Jynx I know it's almost time for you to sign off, so even though I am responding I definitely do not expect a response..

I'm not sure but in this sentence

Yeah it makes sense that it's common for folks with ASD

Did you mean cPTSD?

I'm not sure I have a disdain for small talk, I'm just not good at it and although it serves a purpose, it seems to last longer than I feel comfortable with.

Thanks for the resource - I will look it up

I wasn't aware that not being able to relax was a ND trait

I hope you have a great evening

@Till23 afternoon my friend, I hope your day has been ok so far 🙏.

I think you bring a valid point about connections in real life. I have often thought about this and the forum. It’s something interesting to think about 😊

I feel like this time of year always drains me a bit more than most. So tend to try and focus on constantly ‘powering up’

Enjoy your weekend ☀️