Tillogram

Hi @AuntGlow .

I hope you have a good remainder of evening and a lovely rest.

Oh @Till23 @, i would love to help support you by reflecting on and celebrating all the things you have done in 2025 - as using "codenames" for activities that need to be more de-identifiable. Perhaps it would help to then go through the list and write what benefits & impacts (to you and/or others) are from each of them? Like your example with tabletennis also giving others someone to play for. �

I know you do your main sport too (omg international event next year?! Wow!), and i know if i was playing in a club with/around someone that experienced i would be so encouraged for any tips or guidance or mentoring in the sport - even if theyre once off incidental comments.

Do I recall you also do some Lived Experience volunteer work? (Or am i confusing that with someone else? Uh oh, 10pm brain!)

Of course ONLY if this idea would help you and YOU want to! You are the only judge for that 🥰

Hi @AlwaysMyself how are you? You seem to be all over the forums currently. Don’t forget to have some time for yourself.

Thanks for your offer, I have already made a list, it’s fairly long. Currently it is not really having an impact.

Yes, despite the time last night you are correct, I am doing a little bit of Lived Experience work.

How are you going?

Hehe i got up to date on my tags, but then took last night off the forums so now im 24hr behind again lol @Till23 🤭. But today is Wednesday, which means the end of the (paid) work week. Most of tomorrow is no plans / at home.

I'm sorry nothing seems to lift your mood currently from feeling inadequate or meaningless. (Sorry. I have forgotten the word you used, which was a much better word for "not feeling enough"). I wish i could help. I wish i had a magic wand that could help you feel loved and important to people around you for who you are intrinsically. *hugs*

I like you for who you are as a person, not for what you do (althpugh i certainly recognise that you ALSO do a lot of good things! But liking ypu is not dependent upon that 😊)

Hi @AlwaysMyself you are always going to be chasing your tail, if you hope to be up to date with all the tags!. I am sure you get quite a lot as you are very active on a range of threads it seems. Early in my time on the forums, I was pretty active (once I sorted out the forums), but now I'm barely here.

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I wish I had a magic wand as well. I'm sure a lot of people on here, including yourself wished they had a magic wand. So in the real world I just have to keep on keeping on

I hope you are having a lovely evening

This is very true @Till23 😊. But the good thing about the forum is you *can* ignore it if it will have a negative impact for you, and choose to use it only when/if it will have a positive impact for you. 😊

Can i ask what the negatives you feel from it are?

100% ok not to answer.

I can imagine it might be things like feeling pressured to read and/or respond to tags, or being triggered by things you read, or "comparing" your life to others...? Or perhaps none of those things and something totally different.

I joined the forums earlier in the year because i was quite lonely at home (with my partner who ignored me at home) and also going through a lot of stressful interpersonal problems at work. So for me being on the forums was filling a need for social connection and for something to do in the afternoons to distract me from feeling ignored at home.

Hi @AlwaysMyself thanks for your response.

Aww @Till23 💜

Bushfires are so scary, and definitely can bring up a lot of sorrow for us hey. Hope you're okay 😌

I also wanted to comment on this:

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@Till23 wrote:

I suppose the negatives are hearing a lot of other MH stories and kind of being immersed in it, might have negative impacts.

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Just wondering if you've heard the term 'compassion fatigue' before? It's not uncommon amongst folks in health-related and caring roles, but it can happen to anyone. I think it's so valid to want to take some time to protect our energy, take a breather from the intensity, and maybe put it towards the things that ignite joy or contentment 😊

Hope you're travelling along ok hun 💜

That's a really good reflection of the "pros" and "cons" of the forum for youself, @Till23 . 😊 I wonder if there is a way to then shape how you use the forums (which sections you do or do not go to) in order to get the "pros" and avoid the "cons"?

As @Jynx mentioned, 'compassion fatigue' is something to be careful of. I've had it myself at times because I genuinely care about people and want to help them, but sometimes it's too much (or I haven't put up good enough boundaries and they have eroded and I've taken on their problems into my own head) and too tiring and need to step back and say "not now." I've seen it at time with my mum too in her professional caring role - she has a set time each year she takes leave because she saw a pattern of how the fatigue would build up over the year and (in addition to the Christmas & new year break) identified which month she always needed time to recuperate without client work -- and that is someone without their own mental illness to balance!

When I start to not feel automatically-compassionate as my first response to someone's struggles, that's when I know I am at high risk of compassion fatigue. Because being compassionate is my natural response when I am healthy. That's my "orange light" to pull back and spend time with myself.

I'm not sure if my experience helps you at all or not, but some food for thought in case it clicks with how you feel sometimes when reading about other people's struggles.

I also sometimes find dwelling too much on people's stress & illness can be depressing in itself - just because it gives a very bias view of life. I guess it's a similar reason why I don't watch TV news because it's not something I can control/influence/involve, and it's mostly very negative and disheartening. Or why I don't listen to a lot of music outside of a subset that I know are 'mentally healthy' for me -- the lyrics can really influence me if I am listening to depressing things. Knowing ourselves in this way is really important to managing our MH I reckon. 😊

I will always support and defend your right and choice if you choose to have less time on the forum, restrict the threads/spaces you engage in, have absence from the forum, or request to not be tagged in posts. And I reckon most of the other users here would too, from what I've seen/read when others have stepped away. I believe you should put your needs first.

Hi @Jynx and thanks for your response.. I hope you are well and not zipping around too much!...

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I know I have a lot to be grateful for, and I have met some people recently who have overcome some amazing set backs. I am trying to increase my gratitude for my situation when I hear these people's stories. .

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