Tillogram

Hugs @Shaz51

I am sorry you were not well @AlwaysMyself I hope you are much better today.

My GP said a thing today that had impact which was that living your own life is a human right and you don't have to do anything to deserve that life - that's a paraphrase - but that was the idea.

That definitely had an impact on me and made me feel a bit more relaxed. I just have to try to hang on to that feeling.

Yes I agree, people don't always understand how difficult it is for people. Probably when people read that I'm going to this sport comp, or I'm going interstate or I'm going overseas they probably think what have I to complain about, because they don't see the effort it takes to get out of bed some days they don't see the days I just want to end it all, the no self-esteem, the no confidence, how hard it can be to get out the door. They don't see the nightmares, the dissociation feelings, the lonliness, I try not to show any of that or talk about it. I'll occasionally say something to certain people but mostly not and certainly not at all in the past.

Thanks for the best wishes. I'll be away from the forums for a few days now, but will let you know how it went.

Cleared by GP for next year and there was some discussion about other MH treatments for me.

I really hope you feel better again soon and thank you for sharing your story about comparison.

Hope you feel better soon 💕 @AlwaysMyself

Thanks for the hugs @tyme 🥰

You going to be away @Till23 , take care my awesome friend 🧡

Yes @tyme I have always tried to push myself with regard to work and study.

I have had 3 careers and 7 higher education qualifications inluding post grad quals and numerous short courses.

But it has been to the detriment of other areas of my life, probably most importantly relationships. Which are hard for me because of cPTSD, but I now realise, belatedly, that I should have directed more energy into that area of my life and pushed myself more there.

So I do have a lot of grief for those things along with people and animals that have passed away. The last few years have brought multiple losses and also recognition of losses. This hs definitely affected my MH, but I try not to give in to it and look for the next thing.

I am lucky that I dealt with childhood abuse by studying and working rather than other coping methods, because at least now I have stable housing and a bit of savings to be able to do some travelling. I do have many things to be grateful for.

Sometimes I just think of that song by Wilson Phillips - Hold on (for one more day)

I hope you ahve a good evening - I won't be on the forums for a few days while I'm at the Australian Masters Games

Oh sorry to hear that @Shaz51 We'd make a great pair.

I have injured my knee - so I'm hobbling around at the moment, it's slowly getting better. I'll have to have it well strapped for the weekend.

Gardening is a bit dangerous isn't it - I've had a number of gardening injuries - but I reckon it's worth it.

I hope you are able to get a good sleep tonight.

I need to because got to head off to Canberra tomorrow morning.

Won't be on the forums for a few days while I'm at the Masters Games.

Hope you have a good weekend

Look after yourself while you are away. @Till23 Hope your knee is okay.

We'll see you when you're back.

Hello @Till23!

How was your weekend? 💖

Ah, I totally understand comparing your current self with your former self... it can be so hard to sit with, I really hear you on this one.

Hmm... for argument's sake, what skills/knowledge/capacity/abilities do you possess now that your past self didn't?

Okay, I really hope it holds out for you. 🤞

This is good to know - what did they suggest for further mental health support?

Yay, this sounds really promising!!

I did! I am working on my own internalised beliefs too - very slowly - so that I can perform more again. It's tough, but getting there. 🥰

Hi @AuntGlow @tyme @Shaz51 I am back from the Australian Masters Games in Canberra..

It was a busy few days..

My team did very well and we won a gold and two silver medals - we were all a bit surprised and very happy.

It was great to catch up with people from all around Australia (only NT wasn't there in my sport).

I caught up with people that I have met at other competition events and met some lovely new people - I think that's the best thing about these comps and especially the games (because people come from all around Australia).

Well done @Till23 ! Thats pretty cool to get 3 medals from the games! 🥰😍

And so nice you got to catch up with others you had met before. It sounds like a lovely community spirit. 🥰

(My mum said there was a lot of people on her flight coming for the Masters, and she had a lovely time listening to a lively bunch of friendly people coming as a group that were more or less giving anything a go!)

Hi @AuntGlow

Sorry for late response I only just returned from the Australian Masters Games in Canberra.

It was a successful games for our team - which was made up of members from many states of Australia, which made it even more special.

My knee held up, but I'm in quite a bit of pain! Hopefully it will get better.

As to your questions - I have increased my knowledge of MH especially with regard to trauma and trauma responses. I suppose I have learnt to notice my thoughts more, especially with regard to negative thinking. I haven't got much past the noticing, but that's something for which I can aim.

GP is thinking of things like TMS, possibly alternative therapies like psychedelics - just thinking about it at this stage.

I felt quite good, and happy even, when we won our medals and then for a while afterwards, but then it kind of "wore off".

I then I was sort of thinking in the scheme of things does it really matter.

So I am trying to think well there were almost 2 thousand people there from our sport and they think it's ok to spend time doing this sport and there are known benefits of exercise - incl MH benefits. It sets a good example for other people - because it's a social exercise it builds connections etc. I personally met a couple of ladies that I think I would be quite close to, if they lived near me. We kind of made good connections.

When I got home, I felt the lonliness a bit more because I didn't have anyone to show my medals to etc. I will take them to the next training for my local team, but it was just that kind of no special person to talk to.

So I've been a bit up and down last evening and today. I did get a bit low last night, but I've been not too bad today

I am glad you are able to perform and hopefully will build more confidence. What sort of performance do you do - singing, other musical instrument, acting, comedy etc