Tillogram

Big day @Till23 , @tyme , @AuntGlow

Got a Genetic specialist appointment and a heart specialist appointment in the near future

Winding down watching YouTube videos

Hope you are OK xx @Till23 😊

Oh @Shaz51 that does sound like a big day if you found that out today

How are you feeling about it?

I need to get some sleep. Very disrupted sleep last night and also not a good day for me either. Although mine is likely because of the way I let my past cloud the way I think about things possibly

Hey @Till23 , sending you some care and hugs.

Sorry to hear someone has been disrespectful of your expressions of your opinions. 😥. I cant speak for the others in your group, but if I see that happen, then I believe it reflects badly on the disrespectful person and often they earn a poor reputation for it too. I know that doesnt really help (and my thinking is always "why do people let them get away with it? Why arent they held accountable?), but it does pose a possi le question of if it is repeated whether it is worth talking privately to one of the others in the group to see their perspective on whether this person was intentionally disrespectful or maybe just a miscommunication, but either way how as a group can changes be put in place for the future; "group rules" as it were.

I wish for you that your brain would stop telling you you are not good enough. (If I had a magic genie, this is my wish for you 😊). People can be so brutal to themselves lol.

I am happy to help rebutt these statements to you if you want an external aid at times 😊. I can promise to be honest and if you tell me the broad situation and why you think its "not enough" i can provide an outside perspective?

When I gaslight myself into thinking ive done something wrong I find it helpful to have someone i can explain the situation to and get their feedback on whether its an over-reaction or not. 😊

Thinking of you too @Shaz51 . Hope your appointments go well.

Oh that's so tough @Till23. Honestly, it sounds like this person may have been projecting some of their stuff into the conversation without realising it. It's so easy to become heated when we are triggered. I know it's hard, but I wonder if there is a part of you that might be able to sit with the idea that this wasn't because of you? 💛

that does sound like a big day if you found that out today

How are you feeling about it?

@Till23 , @AlwaysMyself

I have mixed feelings about it all as I have had lots of problems since birth and mum has tried to encourage myself to do want I can do and to keep on keeping on

the genetic part could be the cause of all my problems in the past and for in the future , I dont think it will help much now being 61 years old

have no appointment dates yet

@Till23 I hope you slept ok my awesome friend and sitting with you xx

@AuntGlow , @tyme @Jynx have had only 2 coffees so far today

@Shaz51 @Till23

I always ask myself "what changes in how to approach treatment if I did have xxx?"

Although sometimes I do find it helpful to understand the cause even if the treatment isnt changed, because then I feel validated that its "not just in my head" or me being neurotic. 😅 (I recently had some xrays that show an issue that explains some of my chronic pain - its not all in my head, there *is* a reason for that pain! Im not just being a sensitive sook.)

Sitting with you both, here to talk through thoughts if it helps you

aww thank you @AlwaysMyself for your message

Yes with everything that i have experienced all my life and now the extra complications that I am experiencing more now points to one thing that looks like i may of been born with

Hi @AlwaysMyself how are you going? Thanks for your lovely response as always. The situation didn't happen in a live conversation but as part of a WhatsApp chat about an event we are organising. I did get some acknowledgement from another member of group, I usderstand it is hard because we are on this committee and all have to show solidarity for the whole club. So it's hard. I did speak to another person who has recognised that there is a problem with the other person so that as have some others apparently.

Yes I do find it hard to challenges long held beliefs and probably have cognitive biases in that if something good happens I think it's just luck or that happens to everyone, whereas if something bad happens it's my fault. I am aware only fairly recently that that is happening.

Thanks for volunteering to provide rebuttal!

Hi @Shaz51 do you think it will help you, if you know the underlying cause of your problems? Hope the appointments go well. You never know if knowing the cause may open up treatment options

Hope you are feeling ok

It wasn't a live conversation @AuntGlow it was text based, so not really a heat of the moment thing. I have had problems with this person before. I spoke to another person who thinks it may possibly be coming from a position of jealousy and that other members do not think I am not good enough at what I am doing with/for the club, so it was good to know that and I felt a bit better overnight.

However, It was hard to get out of bed this morning and it's been a bit of a mixed day. I feel like I didn't get much done and it's been a bit of an up and down day.

I realise I have over-committed myself for the next few weeks and this has not been helped by my cold which has exacerbated my inflammatory/immune condition. Right now I feel like I could sleep for a few weeks!