Tillogram

Hi @AuntGlow I am not sure when each peer support worker is on the forums these days. Thanks for your reply. Yes, even though I still have stress, it's much less than before. I still put a lot of stress on to myself I suppose.

I'm not sure what the most valuable lesson that I've learnt in therapy is. I feel I'm still at the beginning. One thing, is to question thoughts. I'm still at the early stages of that. I have been told to give myself a bit of compassion, I find both difficult, because of these deep seated feelings I have about myself like the Not Good Enough - which I am trying to address.

Yes, I hope I can do something that assists other people, that would certainly help with my purpose in life.

I went on a walk today with a friend and her dog and that was nice to be with a dog doing that. It is different when it's not your dog.

I have been struggling today with some interactions with a person at my club I've had difficulty with before. I feel like nothing I do is ever good enough or right. I feel very sad because I thought I had found something a bit stress free to do, there are stresses but sport related ones, I didn't want to have any interpersonal ones. I like meeting people from other clubs and the travelling. I know not everyone can get on all the time, but I feel it effects my relationships with others in the club.

Thank you for your kind words and support.

Hi @AuntGlow @tyme I hope you are both well. I had a bit of a hard day today. Have reached out a little, even though I find that difficult. I hope I can get some sleep and move forward. It's going to be a difficult few weeks

Heya @Till23 !

I was JUST about to sent a post to you! Thanks for tagging me!

I think I just tagged you in another thread too.

I'm sorry today's been a but hard. Is there something you feel would be helpful at this time?

Please look after yourself. I can also say to go slow, but I know I'm the worst person it should come from because I haven't stopped myself!

Have you recovered from the lingering sickness?

Hey @tyme thanks. Yes I saw the other tag, thanks for that. I have tried to go a bit slower since I got this cold and I have been reasonably successful. I also know that I need to return to good fitness for next few weeks. Most of the cold symptoms have abated, which is good

I have had the Not Good Enough, or not worthwhile feeling pretty bad starting to last night and have wasted a lot of today, being stuck in negative thought patterns I suppose.

I did ask a friend if they wanted to meet up for a walk last night and we went today and it would have been a really good walk - saw soem seals, except for my feelings of Not Good Enough

That's so fair! We often cover each other and change things up when needed, so it can be hard to keep track of. @Till23

That stress we put on ourselves can be a lot, can't it? I wonder what would happen if you didn't put so much pressure on yourself?

I am with you there. Questioning my thoughts and having self-compassion is so incredibly hard when we haven't had the space to safely feel, make mistakes, or authentically explore who we are. Reparenting ourselves so that we can do this takes time... I suspect it will take me a lifetime. But noticing the small shifts and changes along the way is really rewarding. I can imagine you will have seen progress, even in the last year! Does anything come to mind?

Oh, that sounds really tough... what made the interactions challenging exactly?

Any time. 💛

Hi @AuntGlow just the Not Good Enough feeling which was very heightened by really having an opinion which was asked for, and which I took great pains to express and say it is my opinion pretty much shredded and I feel as though I cannot do anything right

That sounds so hard @Till23 .

In my line of work, I recognise that often, people are hurting. We dont understand their hurt sometimes, so we may take things as a personal attack.

So, just say you never provided the advice/opinion. Then, you would've saved yourself feeling this way, right? Yes. This is exactly what our brains tell us, yet it also means out strategy is avoidance.

Conversely, consider all the times you have provided your opinion and asked, and the outcome was that your thoughts were embraced. How did that make you feel?

Whilst we naturally want to protect ourselves and use avoidance to prevent being hurt, we also have to remember that it means we may miss out on the gratitude that people express otherwise.

This is the life lesson that I have learnt, and I hold onto this. This helps me not to take things personally.

Take care hun. We appreciate you. We appreciate your contributions.

Hi @tyme I understand what you are saying but this was not coming from a place of hurt but rather someone trying to get what they wanted and to make sure that their opinion was the prominent one by belittling anything I had to say.

I have not avoided the situation and have discussed other required issues. I just apologised and said I was just raising an issue. I also know that you can't have every battle so I have left it for others to decide.

Sometimes it's difficult not to take things personally especially when your background is one of never being good enough.

Anyhow I hope you have a nice evening and until we perhaps chat again.

Talk tomorrow @tyme 🥰

Thanks @Shaz51 you are up late aren't you? How are you?