Tillogram

The Community is here for you if you do still want to keep talking @Till23

sitting with you my awesome friend xxx

Good evening @Till23! 💛

That's quite alright - no apologies needed at all.

Hmm, I wonder if we can become curious about where this voice comes from and give that part of you a little love? Because I am here to remind you that your voice absolutely does matter and we are more than happy to be there for you.

What might help to alleviate that pressure?

It seems to me like you might be feeling burnt out? Could that be a factor here?

Talk more soon. 🫶

Thanks @Shaz51

I hope you are well and it hasn't become too hot up there too soon!

Hi @AuntGlow thanks for your response. I hope you are well. I have logged in a bit earlier this evening as you can see, because I thought there might have been some responses to my post of late last evening.

I am sorry I have caused a kerfuffle with that post. I did not think it was too heavy, but perhaps was, I don't know.

The part comes from a life time of Never Being Good Enough. I have many examples of basically being told that.

However, lately, I feel there has been a big drop in functional ability. Things I previously did without hardly batting an eyelid, seem to be hugely onerous now. I mean I was no virtuoso before, but I had a reasonably complex, responsible job and managed my domestic tasks ok. I don't have kids, so haven't had that huge burden of work and responsibility, so I wasn't required to function at the same level as many people.

Yes, the symptoms do align with those of burn-out, but I have nothing to be burnt out about. I am retired now. I have some responsibilities, but nothing compared to when I was working or to other people. Some of it is Perfectionism I would say and that of course has anxiety associated with it, so the pressure is coming from me.

I can either alleviate the pressure, but decreasing my responsibilities or changing the way I think about it.

Thank you for helping me think about the situation

@Till23 sending care your way.

I don't have to spend time reading & responding to your messages and supporting you. I do it because I want to.

It's 100% OK to ignore all the posts you are tagged in (including this one!) and just post about how you feel or what you need/want from others when you are feeling this way. My genuine hope/preference is for you to never feel pressured to respond if I have tagged you somewhere. 🤗 Please do look after what YOU need for yourself first and foremost.

I value you. I like the personality I have seen of you through the forums. I like your perspectives on things. I think you are a good person. And I think your efforts in life are definitely enough; and even more than many others give. You are enough as you. You do not ever need to be someone else or live up to someone else's expectations either.

(That's my opinion - you don't have to agree 😉 )

@Till23 Re: burnout

Not sure if this will resonate with your experience, but in case it does I'm popping it in here. 🙂

I have been so burnt out the past few years. You know why? Because I have depression and I keep doing behaviours that I am told should "help" (or at least prevent it getting worse) despite how I feel, and I still don't feel better (but I don't feel worse).

Living with depression is exhausting! Doing basic daily living activities to keep you 'as healthy as possible' is absolutely exhausting.

Constant exhausted = burnout cause.

That's my perspective on my own situation. Not sure if the longterm grind of mental health challenges and effort to keep functioning daily could be what's burning you out too?

Thanks @AlwaysMyself I always appreciate your replies. I hope you have been well and the weather has been good for you. Not too hot and not too cold (or windy).

I understand you do not feel obligated to reply to me and I would feel a bit guilty if people thought I was somehow expecting responses. I do appreciate your responses though.

I read posts and want to reply as well, unfortunately my brain has been too "full" of late. I am not being hard on myself about it, but rather using strategies. I pretty much ignore the bulk tags and just look at posts tagged to me, sometimes I just do a short response, I suppose to show the person I have seen and appreciated their post. Sometimes I do longer posts, sometimes it's because the person has made me think and that has clarified some things.

I have not been prioritising the forums and am trying to get things I think I need to do done in preference. It is sometimes nice to see some familiar people and be distracted a bit and also try to work out some things on the forums.

I do have the problem of trying to live up to expectations, I am aware of it, but I find it hard to let things go.

Yes I do think that dealing with MH challenges is a grind and of course contributes to burn out, I think particularly the constant masking is exhausting. Most people that I deal with have no idea about my MH challenges and those that know I have "PTSD", have no idea of the severity or that it's actually cPTSD, depressiona nd anxiety. I have had a few things on the last 3 years. Which I just say is within normal, but maybe it is a bit of stuff. I also say to myself, that I should be over that by now. I know should is just an expectation, that may not match reality. And maybe the cumulative effect has caused me to be tired, and the wish to improve causes me to try perhaps too hard.

Thank you for making me think about some things

Good morning @Till23,

It's okay, you were sharing honestly and openly - that's allowed! You didn't cause a kerfuffle at all.

Hmm, I wonder if things have shifted because you are no longer expected to work as hard? Our bodies adapt to where we are at and I can only imagine how exhausted it would be after so many years of operating from survival mode. And you really do so much. A burnout feeling of sorts would make some sense here.

I know I experience exhaustion from perfectionism/anxiety/people pleasing. Just imagine how much brain power you're using in those moments! Of course you are feeling depleted. 💛

"I can either alleviate the pressure, by decreasing my responsibilities or changing the way I think about it."

What might this look like? Maybe we can start with this week as a goal?

Hi @AuntGlow thank you for your response.

I see you also tagged me in to another thread, but I haven't been on the forums all day. I feel really terrible that I was not there to support the other member, fortunately other members have been assisting. Another thing I have not done. Logically, I did not know I was tagged, so did not know there was a call-out, but still. I will go there next.

I have been doing some club-related stuff, some house-related stuff, and some life admin. The most recent of which (which I cannot say here) has just caused me to stand outside in the rain crying my eyes out as it means a phase of my life has officially come to an end, and as usual I am needing to deal with that alone.

I have cancelled sport training tomorrow, because infection risk to others and I think it would be very tiring, even though socially-wise it would have been good.

Sorry - but I am very deflated.

Thanks for understanding my tiredness.

I think I need to give myself some time to grieve a number of things instead of just trying to keep on keeping on. I don't know if that's reasonable.

Hi @tyme how are you going?

. I see on another thread that you have prescribed yourself some retail therapy!

. How are the school holidays going for you? We are still in the frst week here in NSW.

. I haven't really noticed because I've had a pretty bad flu. It hasn't been ideal because "doing things" is how I manage my MH. I feel a bit lonely because I have no one to vent to about it.

. Today I did some admin that has just caused me to stand outside in the rain crying my eyes out as it means a phase of my life has officially come to an end, and as usual I am needing to deal with that alone. So it's been a hard day.

. I am trying to think of ways to go forward, how to accept this new situation or to find a way to find a purpose for my life.