Tillogram

You are so so right @Till23 . My brain so so used to routine so it reduces cognitive load. So when I'm out of routine, it takes a lot more concentration and thinking to know what I'm doing next! I'm glad you can relate.

Thank you @Till23 for being @Till23 .

Also, I've just read your post above about saying goodbye to your psych. I hear how painful this is for you and how much you've invested in that therapeutic relationship. Is there anything we can do to make it a little easier for you? I know we can't take the pain away, but please know we are here for you.

Hugs.

Hello @Till23,

I am back, so you're more than welcome to share more of your thoughts here today. 💛

You're allowed to not be on top of things! I think this is a wonderful space to share 'the good, the bad, and the ugly', so to speak.

I understand that feeling of Not Good Enough, I really do. I know I can't shift these deeper feelings for you in one message, but please know that you are absolutely worthy and we always want you to be able to share whatever is coming up for you. Know that we will be here with open hearts and ears, whenever you need to talk.

Hi @AuntGlow Sorry, I know I've been logged in for ages, but not long after I logged in I had an important phone call which took almost 3 hours! So I haven't replied to your post.

I hope you are well after your little hiatus from forums.

It was a complex phone call.

yesterday I checked the forums and answered a couple of queries. Including saying something about NAIDOC because I felt bad about not participating in that.

Then I posted a couple of support posts without saying a great deal about myself.

I went to sport training this morning (the first time since I got back from my trip), had breakfast with team

So I do feel a bit better today, although overall I feel Not Good Enough for anything

Sorry long post

Thank you @Till23, it sounds like have experienced quite an ebb and flow in feeling these past few days.

And yes, I do believe that you have had complex professional jobs, that doesn't surprise me at all!

It sounds like you may have needed some time to come back to yourself. Did you find it easier to show up for your sporting club after doing so?

I can hear this person really appreciated you and your guidance, that must have felt really nice. 🥰

I wonder if there is a way we can allow 'Not Good Enough' to be there, whilst still showing up for the things you want to do for yourself? (Hopefully with a little more self-compassion and less pressure! 💛)

Hi @AuntGlow I don't know when you are next on the forums. It seems to be a bit of a moving feast with you PSWs currently. I see that your shift is almost over. Anyhow, maybe you will be on tomorrow and then might have a chat. I have some pretty big things coming up, but probably can deal with them myself as has been my status quo

Hope you had a great birthday break and hope the rest of this coming week is good for you.

Hello @Till23!

How are you feeling today?

I have no doubt you can deal with things on your own, but we are still always here for you, so is there anything you'd like to discuss tonight?

Thank you for the birthday wishes. 🥰

Thanks @AuntGlow I know it can get busy on the forums and I am mindful that the number of ordinary forum members to peer suppost workers is high. And I know you must be dealing with heaps of tags coming in to your inbox or however it works. I have multiple tabs open and I'm only dealing with me and a couple of other people!

I probably shouldn't be saying so much on here.

I posted a pretty riled up post about mental health in cancer with someone I think I've made a pretty strong connection with. I have cloaked it in trigger warning and I'm going to do that here

Thanks for sharing @Till23 . I'm sorry to hear that things weren't the best today. Is it okay I wish you Happy Birthday?

I can see how much you have been through, and that conversation today sounded like it didn't help very much.

Thank you for sharing this with the community. We really appreciate you reaching out and know how much you are wanting things to improve in the area of CSA.

I'll pop in later to check in.

Is there anything in particular we can do to make things easier for you at this time?

Ohhh @Till23

Happy birthday my sister 💓 ❤️

I did not know until now xx

@tyme I'm appreciate not mentioning it in first couple of lines

I should not have mentioned it all sorry it's my fault. It has been a particular good day but that's on me. I need to take responsibility for my own life