Tillogram

@Till23 so a whole chunk of memory gone? That is a lot darlin! Ahhh amnesia and dissociation can be good pals tho, so scary as it is, it's not 'abnormal' in my eyes.

Aye, I am logging off soon so I reckon I will wait till tomorrow to respond more fully, cos it sounds like hashing it out could be helpful?

Hope you have a super chill evening hun, and I'll chat to ya tomorrow hopefully! 💜🫂

Yeah no worries @Jynx thanks for your responses so far. I haven't worked out everyone's new hours etc but will be on tomorrow afternoon/evening

@tyme does the chat Saturday night @Till23

I only just put it up @Shaz51 🙂 @Till23

Saturday Soiree - 5th July 2025

Hi @Till23 how's you today hun?

Hi @Jynx I just logged in to the forums. I managed to get some stuff done today that I've been needing to do since I got home, but haven't be able due to a combination of weather (it's been rainy and windy here), such as cleaning off my roof and cleaning out gutters.

I am just putting one foot in front of the other, I did a fair bit yesterday and today I stayed in bed in the morning. Well I actually got up at 5.15 am did some stuff, then went back to bed and stayed there for too long. I am trying not to be hard on myself about it. I also did manage to achieve some things today, so that has helped with the Not Good Enough feeling.

@Till23 sometimes the body needs to get up and do stuff hey!! I read somewhere that in medieval times, it was normal for folks to sleep about 4 hours, get up in the middle of the night to do a few things, then go back for another 4 hours. Everyone and every body is different!

Very legit to be apprehensive. Have you let your psych know your concerns, or is that under the apprehension as well?

Extra sleepiness would make sense!! Dissociation might seem like a very low output of energy but it is still our nervous system in survival-mode, and that takes up a lot of our internal resources!

Thanks @Jynx Sorry I took a while to reply - I got a phone call about my Dad (it's his death anniversary today).

I was awake so I decided to do a bit of stuff, just because I was awake and it would be out of the way. Also the coldest time is just before sunrise. So thought I'd get back to bed and miss that!

@Till23 no need to apologise for a delayed response hun, that's what forums is all about - we engage when we're ready 😋

Sounds like a tough day hun. Anniversaries like that are never easy. Hugs 🫂

I struggle to return to sleep after waking up in the morning, so I am glad to hear you did catch some more snoozles hehe.

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@Till23 wrote:

Yes, it's a very weird feeling. I suppose I'll slowly get over it

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Seems likely - however I get a small sense that you are maybe dismissing your experiences a little here? Please correct me if I'm wrong! Hard to tell sometimes when it's all text.

But yeah, just wanted to check in to see if this is a self-reassurance, or whether you're repressing your need for clarity/insight by telling yourself you won't care about it eventually (despite perhaps it lingering in the mind?).

Thanks @Jynx - yeah it was a pretty hard day but actually not too bad. I was hoping it would be a sunny day and I could just take it easy. Although the day started pretty sunny it soon became overcast. I did have a chance to do a couple of puzzles in the sun on my verandah and look at the wildlife that comes to my backyard though.

I find it hard to do "nothing" for long though so I was getting up and doing things. I chopped wood a couple of times, which always reminds me of Dad.

Yeah, I'm not good at self care and I will be putting it behind me so I can keep putting one foot in front of another. Since I've always lived on my own in order to function in life I have to keep going, so I don't have time to do much self care things. Although in reality I probably do, but it seems it's easier for me to keep going. I don't feel as though I deserve much really, so I think it's ok.

It's interesting and I'm curious about it, I have been doing some research, but overall am I just wasting time when I should just be getting on with stuff.

Anyhow you are busy Jynx, so don't worry about responding, you've got other people who probably need a response more