Tillogram

Hi @Cuddlebear I know you are trying your best with tapering because you are still on the forums chatting to people. It would be nice if you had supportive health professionals around you.

I have a little bit of insight because I have tapered a couple of times. I have been on a few antidepressants and had hardly any problems at all coming off most of them.

Coming off a particular one was really difficult. It has subsequently been recognised as the hardest to wean off and people have started special protocols and you can even be prescribed non-standard doses that you have to get compounded.

I know from hearing others that people have really brutal tapering journeys from that particular AD.

I am just presuming here, because I do not actually know, but I can easily understand how having physical illnesses/disabilities can impact. At least I could easily access distractions, like just take myself for a drive somewhere or walk the dogs in failing light etc etc.

I think you are very wise to take it easy with the tapering.

I was a lot more active when I was first on here about a year ago and answered lots of posts and chatted a bit more.

I did have my own thread here on Tillogram and several people have been supportive over here. One of my problems, I think I'm actually ashamed to put stuff on the forums. I often delete large amounts of my posts after a day or so and just leave the banal stuff here.

I have had some great supportive people on this Tillogram thread.

I have done the Mindspot intake questionnaire and my results suggested I should book a telehealth counselling appointment and so I have done that. So I am awaiting that call.

Anyhow, i am glad you have your own thread and you can post and tag people to it.

I will really miss some people here for sure, including you. @AlwaysMyself is a person I found with some similarities and a very helpful person. Another person that I found really helpful early on was @MJG017 because we both have cancer and also attachment issues, they are a really nice person. So I will miss quite a few people, but do I need to try something a bit radically different, I shall see.

Sorry long post. Probably take a couple of cups of tea to get through 😂

Hi @Till23 , thank you for letting me know. I will definitely miss you too - but please take that as a sign of my appreciation and connection with you and your experiences (even if I'm a lot younger as you say lol). 😊. If you do decide to return later - or even just pop into a social thread once in a blue moon to say "hi" you will always be welcome to tag me and it will put a smile on my face to see.

I am glad you are thinking about what you need, and putting that first -- even though I will miss reading your posts and having the opportunity to help support you and challenge some of your negative self-talk thoughts 😉. I really hope that things do improve for you, and I am really encouraged to read you have submitted the request for a telehealth appointment. I hope that comes through soon and that you get someone who is a good fit for you.

I think you are a great person. I think you are 'enough' (even more than enough!). I think you are valuable.

I know I can't make your heart feel or brain believe those things - but this can stay here as a permanent reminder for whenever you need to read/hear it. 😊

Thanks @AlwaysMyself it is a difficult decision. I am not saying it's a permanent thing. I think it's worth a try.

I hope the new things you are trying work out for you. Thank you for all the support and advice you provide on the forums. I really think you have a talent for support work.

Keeping it open-options is a wise decision I think, @Till23 . If you are curious how the PAT research trial is - feel free to drop in at the end of April or later on to ask. 😊 (it could be a good excuse to say "hi" to you without having to be MH-focus in a distressing way for you!)

Hi @AlwaysMyself I hope you are well..

I am curious about the PAT trial.. I am interested in anything that might assist people with health difficulties whether that be physical health or mental health.. Anything that makes life better for people.. One of my careers was in research.

I have seen my GP and we have discussed TMS.. We thought it might be time to try something different. I think you said you did not find it helpful or maybe it was that it didn't have a lasting effect @AlwaysMyself.

I still think it's best to have a bit of a forum break as well.

@tyme @AuntGlow @Cuddlebear

I hope the TMS goes well for you @Till23 and completely respect your forum break.

Happy to talk TMS with you any time you would find it beneficial (or not, if not - also fine).

Yes, I had TMS in late 2025 but unfortunately I was one of the very few people who had a reaction to it -- in my case, it triggered severe panic attacks. but once I stopped the TMS, the panic attacks slowly decreased over the following 2 months and then back to "my normal" with no anxiety after the following month. However, my reaction was not typical - the pdoc actually did not believe it was caused by the TMS because it isnt listed as a "known side effect", but given the timing of when it occurred and the timing of when it subsided, there is no doubt it was the TMS. I've never had anxiety problems previously. I have less 'feelings of anxiousness' that "mentally healthy" people do!

TMS is really helpful for a lot of people. I think I was told that 30% of people have a really good marked improvement?

And another 30% have a mild improvement?

But I can't promise that my memory on those numbers is correct. But I remember they told me 30% has a good response, because that's pretty good for a MH treatment. 🙂

Thanks @AlwaysMyself

I am glad you saw your GP @Till23, and I am really glad you are exploring other options. You never know what might work for you. Please keep us updated when you are ready, okay?

Always here to listen. 🥰

Thank you for your response @AuntGlow,, I will see how I go.. I don't want to write that much really.. Mainly because I really don't want to waste anyone's time in reading through my posts and I also I really don't want anyone to feel they need to respond.. I feel I'm not currently in a position to write anything/much in other threads.

.

I'm torn about whether I should leave the forums right now, because having somewhere to think out things with others is good, but I feel I can't give anything back. @tyme

Sorry, that was too much writing. I'll leave you to get back to others.

Hey there @Till23 ,

We are human. We have ups and downs. You have given so much to the community already. It's only right the community gives back to you too? You are part of this community.

Change is hard. Taking risks and trying something new or different is hard. Hence it may be helpful to have a community to support you through this challenging times?

We appreciate you. Please take time to consider what's best for you.

We look forward to hearing how you go. Holding your hand.