A hard day

Hey @creative_writer ❤️ I want to thank you so much for being here with me this past week and a half. It has meant so much to have some positivity and kindness from you.

I got outside again this afternoon - just a couple of hours in bits and pieces but it was good. I finished putting the garden edges in place and relaid one path. Hopefully I can get outside again tomorrow and do the other side. The other side is temporarily in place so I knew I had enough pavers. It will take a bit more work to lay properly but I am kind of excited to get it done. That is a big step up for me from the tears and low mood of the last week. The thought of going back to work is still stressful though so I will stick to the plan and wait until the funeral is over to see how I am really travelling.

Couch, fur babies and Father Brown on my laptop for this evening.

How are you doing Hon?

I did get outside more yesterday @creative_writer and finished laying the front paths. I still need to get some sand to sweep into the joints but will do that either tonight after the funeral or tomorrow. There is a Bunnings close to the funeral place so I might drop in quickly today before the wake - see how I am feeling. It might be a good mini break for me in between the service and wake ...Bunnings is my happy place! I also have to do some shopping and go to the chemist but they can wait until tomorrow. Might get out early to vote then shopping, chemist and home for the rest of the weekend to try to get organised for work next week. At this stage I am planning on going back Monday but have no idea how I am going to feel after the funeral.

Sorry to hear about your grandmother Hon. I lost mine many years ago but she was sick for a while - and it was very hard. She was my best friend and I miss her every day. Towards the end, it was kinder for her to not know much and her pain to end. I think I dealt with that grief so much better as I had so much time with her and nothing left unsaid.

What work are you looking for @creative_writer ? I hope you get something soon. It is hard looking for work - and even harder to find the right fit. Fingers crossed for you ❤️

The funeral was lovely @creative_writer His Mum spoke so well and so lovingy about him. They were inseparable though so I am not surprised. I don't know how she got through it though💔 I did the eulogy for my grandmother and was pretty much on automatic pilot by then. I did not stay at the wake for long. Caught up with a couple of old friends which was nice. Had a moment with his Mum then left them all to it. So many people there which is such a testament to the beautiful soul he was.

I hope something perfect comes up for you work-wise soon. Such a perfect area for you to be working in Hon ❤️

I am so glad I went and witnessed the massive amount of love from everyone for him @creative_writer The beautiful words from everyone really helped. The biggest take away was that he would want everyone to go on living our best lives. Right now it is hard to look past the next couple of days but I do feel slightly better than I have been. At this stage I certainly have not decided when I will return to work - the weekend 'coming down' from the funeral will no doubt be hard ...but I have more hope now that I will be able to return to work soon ...see how tomorrow is and if I have the energy to get all the planning done.

I started work in both research and DV. Both were part time jobs but sometimes I would work from 8am to 10pm ...those days were tiring but also rewarding. I found it difficult sometimes working in DV but I was generally able to switch off from my own experiences and use them to help others. I hope you find you will be the same with Social Work.

Quiet night in with my fur babies and the NRL on tv.

I am not a believer in being reunited with loved ones @creative_writer but have no issues with others having those beliefs. If there is infact an afterlife then I hope everyone is out there somewhere all joined together and finding peace.

I think having two very separate jobs when I worked in DV actually helped. One was all theory and very dry whilst the other was more emotion driven. I did like the latter more but it would have been much harder to do fulltime. I worked in both crisis counselling and child support so there was also diversity in that role.

You will find your place and different ways to work with (and around) those harder things but I do agree - working with SA in any forms will be challenging.