It started early

We're led by you all @avant-garde @Till23 @Dimity .

The space will be as effective as you make it.

We will support you whether you create the space or not 🙂

I guess pros of the space is that is may encourage others to step forward and share their experiences etc. Also, it will help us advocate in this space.

Thankyou @Till23 @Shaz51 @avant-garde @tyme @RachSANECEO

I avoided coming back to this thread... the window of memory only opens occasionally but brings strong feelings of shame and guilt and self-hatred.

I was greatly helped by Blue Knot Foundation resources on c-ptsd only a couple of years ago. I recognised so many of my feelings.

In my post I mentioned my bully brother but he wasn't the perpetrator of the CSA. Just another victim.

I think childhood trauma and abuse in general not just CSA has pervasive repercussions for the victim and in my case contributed to multiple layers of family dysfunction. As an issue it deserves space, in two senses. It deserves attention and a place where it can be discussed and mutual support given. But victim-survivors also need space to participate in their own way as and when they feel ready.

A big thankyou to @Till23 whose shining glimmers coincide with mine. Yes nature is wonderful. It nurtures us and deserves to be nurtured in return. I guess the web of interdependence is also why I argue for social justice... from the safety of a keyboard and a ballot box. I tested my wings in my early 20s. It would be good to try again, and find my flock.

I'll take a look at the new thread.

And I'm still mulling @RachSANECEO 's earlier suggestion about forming a research and advocacy focus.

Hugs @Dimity

Reading your message made me think of my childhood which was being mentally and emotionally and physically abused by my father until mum and I left

Over the next few years mum and I lived with different family members before moving into with grandmother to look after her

And then my aunty and her 4 children moved in with us

@tyme , @avant-garde , @Till23 , @RachSANECEO

Thank you for sharing @Shaz51 . I hear how hard it was for you.

Hugs @Shaz51 that must have been hard. Your mum was amazing... was that the same house?

We moved a lot. It was hard changing schools, and always going to a weekender in another town, so never settling in.

Same house when we moved in with grandmother @Dimity

Mum was soo sick all the time and then when it was affecting me , she decided we needed to leave

@tyme when I inherited my childhood home after my father passed away

I cried soo much ( glad Mr shaz was with me )

I hope the house feels like a safe sanctuary @Shaz51 ... you've returned to it after some tough times. Seeing the garden over suuucch a long time too must be very special.

I haven't been back to the area I grew up in for many years but I still feel attached to it. I wondered about retiring there but without a car or family it would have been hard.

The childhood home that I inherited from my father ( was burnt down in the fire 4 years ago @Dimity , @tyme

Hugs @Shaz51 ... then welcomed back to your grandmother's and mother's house

I can understand your reticence to return to this thread @Dimity

I also suffer from guilt, shame and self-hatred.

I have also used Blue Knot Foundation and have attended (virtually) some courses through them, I also have cPTSD (recently diagnosed, but I've had it for decades) .

I also agree that all types of childhood abuse and neglect have far reaching and possibly life long ramifications. It has been found that most commonly CSA occurs simultaneously with other types of abuse.

I definitely agree that survivors should lead their own recovery and participate in their own way at their own pace. Anything else would, in my mind, constitute a perpetuation of harm. It is a very delicate situation and fraught with danger of triggering others and possibly causing harm.

I have only fairly recently talked about abuse that happened to me to people other than police, GPs, psychologists and psychiatrists. None of my friends were aware, many are still not aware and no-one knows the full story apart from me. If I had been forced, coerced or pressed into saying something I think the outcome would have been very negative. Saying it for the first time was at a very desperate time and very difficult to do. So I totally agree that it's up to individual what, and at what pace they do or say anything.