It started early

Oh... @Dimity

Sending gentle hugs...

Healing our sense of embodiment when there has been shaming and boundaries have been crossed from so very young seems a long road....

I understand why you seek peace in your garden. Animals and nature have been a model for me if how things might be, so a learning and distraction.

I wanted to send you some art.... Somehow the phone is not allowing it. Silly Tek.

Wishing you the best spiritual food.

Apple 🍎

@Dimity I'm so sorry to hear what you have been through in your life and I can't even begin to imagine the pain you've experienced.

Have you thought about joining some groups to get some support and maybe make some connections with others? I know groups aren't for everyone but it can be helpful for others.

Please know that you are not alone here. I know it's hard to see that hope sometimes and when you can't see it we will hold that hope for you. Sending you gentle hugs, take care of yourself, you are so special and valued ❤️

Hey @Dimity ,

I know this can be a very difficult thing to write about. We appreciate you sharing your vulnerabilities.

I can see how the effects of CSA can linger for life.

SANE is continually pushing to get additional support for survivors of CSA. I'm sure @Till23 is also interested in this.

@Dimity @Till23 , please know you are not alone.

Are you okay if I advocate for additional supports in this area?

Sending you lots of hugs and sitting with you my friend 🧡 @Dimity

Thank you for sharing your story ❤️

Hi @Dimity

Thank you for bravely sharing your story.

Your story shares some similarities with mine.

I was only saying to my psychologist (now becoming unaffordable due to having almost used up my 10 MHCP subsidised sessions for the year) last week, do I have to go through these hundreds of incidents individually? That was after a recent flashback, where instead of trying to ignore it, as has been my usual practice, I actually let myself feel the feelings associated with it.

The nightmares and flashbacks have decreased over the decades. Maybe I have "dealt with" the actual trauma, but the consequences live on and affect me daily. Mainly, I think, this is the "not good enough" which can spiral into other things, particularly shame.

I also, have problems with conflict, because I feel it must be my fault there is conflict, because I am a ''bad" person.

There is constant wearing of "the mask", the only time I can take it off is when I am alone at home. It takes a lot of energy every day, also because I have general hypervigilance.

Poor @tyme was "conversing" with me only the other day about problems I was having that seem a bit similar to yours.

Even though my working life is over, I still search for something good in life. I think it is still achievable. I remember when I told my GP about CSA a few years ago when I was first diagnosed with cancer, I said I thought it was too late to turn things around and she said she had another patient who had only started dealing with CSA in her 70s and had a good outcome.

I try to really enjoy the little glimmers in the day, the sounds of the magpies, the wind in the trees, the crashing waves, the stars at night, the warmth of the sun, the aroma of eucalyptus, the sight of the birds, insects and animals and their little curiosities. I try to make sure I recognise and feel grateful for these things that I have. Although I know, comparison is the thief of joy, I do think of all the people who are worse off than me, such as people including children in war zones, or living on the streets chronically hungry etc.

I do feel people in our age group are in a bit of an invisible zone. When we were young you could not speak about CSA, because the prevailing belief was it didn't happen, or if it did, it was victim's fault or kids are resilient and they will get over it. Now, there is recognition by most people that it does occur, that it is not victim's fault ("justice" system still lags badly here) and that there are ongoing consequences for children. There is less recognition that older people will still be affected and dealing with it, so there is no or very little appropriate funding or resources. I am glad that we can move towards prevention for next generations, but the ones that came forward much earlier and helped to change societal views are often forgotten, much like the early feminists. Interestingly indigenous peoples still remember their historical leaders in fight against prejudice.

Sorry that turned into a bit of an essay of my opinions.

I hope that knowing there are other people with similar stories and views at least gives some comradeship and less feeling of isolation.

Also that there are people who really understand at least to some degree your situation.

I am always here is you want to share more or just shoot the breeze

Thanks @tyme for tag

I definitely would like advocacy around the issue of CSA supports, as previously stated I am willing to assist and share my story more broadly, if that is deemed helpful

@RachSANECEO

Thanks @RachSANECEO

As stated, I am happy assist in any way I can. I am passionate about CSA prevention, support for those affected, education etc. I have lived experience of many different aspects of this issue from a few different viewpoints. Happy to be contacted by email etc.

I have to agree too @Till23 @Dimity @RachSANECEO

Such a HUGE need. At the same time, we thank you @Till23 @Dimity and others reading along who have been brave enough to share their stories.

They are these voices we need for anything to change in this space.

@tyme

Is it worth starting a CSA thread in the Advocating for Change space?