Battles

Thankyou @NightFury my sweet ❤️

@MissGremlin I feel similar 🙃 I really hope things settle soon and I can find a rhythm again. Appreciate how understanding you've been, and hope you (and all our members) can hold onto the fact that we do care very deeply about this community, even if we're not around as much.

I know what you mean about the empty cup. Sometimes supporting others is the thing that fills my cup (wonder how I ended up working in mental health, hmmm... 🤔😝), but I also know that the way I am able to show up for others can be greatly impacted if I myself am stuck in that shut-down state. What I have found is that sometimes just our presence can mean the world. So even saying 'I don't have a lot of energy to give, but please know I'm thinking of you' can make a big impact. I think you probably do this already 😉

What sorts of things have you found in the past that have helped you to 'refill'? 💜

Sitting with you ❤️ @MissGremlin

@Jynx i know that the PSW's do care about the community, it's just hard when there's been limited communication around what's been going on and i think that's where alot of people just feel like the forums have been forgotten about.

See that's what worries me a bit here. Usually by me supporting others is what fills my cup, but I'm so stuck deep within the darkness that it just feels like everything is being taken before I even have a chance to use it. I do try to at least let people know that I'm there, even if it's just to sit with them. But I feel so bad when I can't actively offer support cos I just don't have anything to give even to myself.

I've never had to refill my cup like this cos it usually sits rather balanced, not full nor empty but just enough to maintain things. Right now it's empty, it's completely dry. I haven't done my colouring for the past couple of days and even when I was doing it, it wasn't for joy but just for something to keep myself distracted. I'm trying to do it now but it's just not giving me anything and it really is scary cos the things that would bring me joy such as colouring, music, movies, puzzles, crafts just aren't anymore, I feel so broken cos I can't do the things that I once loved and enjoyed.

Just in case it needs to be said, I'm safe.

Thankyou beautiful @Shaz51 ❤️.

Lovely to see you @Till23 thanks for stopping in and sharing some updates. I'm hearing that you are in a similar boat to our lovely @MissGremlin and feeling that empty cup. I like that idea of going to sit in the ED but not necessarily checking in. Sometimes that change of environment in and of itself can help shift things.

@MissGremlin I wanna acknowledge how much I can see that you're still doing all that you can to keep afloat. I can imagine that it might be difficult to maintain stuff like colouring in because it sounds like it's lost some of the joy and started feeling like a chore. I don't have a 'fix', but sometimes what's helped me is to switch things up - do something spontaneous, maybe a little adventurous. Going to a library and asking for book recommendations; finding a patch of wilderness you've never explored before; finding a series of tutorials on youtube for a skill you may never even actually practice; deep diving wikipedia on a super niche topic; making some little bracelets or trinkets or even some colouring pages and leaving them out in public for someone to find...

I know it's not always gonna help, that some of this stuff may not be accessible to you, and I know it's hard to be able to direct our energy to unfamiliar things when we're stuck in the darkness but... sometimes shaking things up can help shift us out of the repetitive nature of that stuckness.

Hugs for you hun, I hope you know that we are out here rooting for you every day 💜

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

@Jynx i do like that idea of trying to switch things up and it's definitely food for thought. It's just a matter of motivation and also the anxiety barrier when it comes to trying things. I'll see what I can come up with for things to do within my safety zone (being at home) and see how we go. I brought some things many years ago that I started but never finished so maybe I'll see if I can give them a try.

Even that right there felt like a little shift, just the fact that my brain didn't straight away shut down and say nope, can't do that, not even going to try. Very much stuck in that in-between space of 'things can't change, it's impossible ' and 'I want things to change, I don't want to feel like this'. Majority of the time I sit in that first space and just give up and accept defeat but every now and then that second space kicks in and I try to find ways to feel ok or just different. Ugh it's honestly exhausting and frustrating, I want to live for a reason not just exist without purpose. Just in case it's needed again, I'm safe.

Thankyou for those hugs, I'm truly grateful for you and the whole community here ❤️.

Hope you have a good night ❤️

Hi @MissGremlin

Sorry to hear what you went through when your children were young plus recently. From few things you have said over time I had pieced together you have a boy and a girl and that your son doesn’t live with you. I had a sense there was lot ‘behind the scenes’ and chose not to enquiry.

I don’t judge people and I’m here if you want to talk, about anything. More than happy to leave mention of your birth children as it is if works best for you 🙂

here for you regardless whatever has happened in the past. 🤗🤗

@Flutterbug9 yeah neither of them live with me. I don't talk about it much as it's a painful subject but also have to be careful of my safety. There's definitely alot more behind the scenes that I don't share on here.

Thankyou sweet, I think being judged is always one of the biggest fears when it comes to talking about things. People just assume the worst case scenario without actually knowing the facts.

I appreciate your support sweet and it goes both ways that I'm always here to listen without judgement aswell ❤️

Hello @NightFury my sweet, how's things over there?