Battles

Hi @MissGremlin 🫂

Hello @Blackcloud my sweet ❤️

@MissGremlin things are feeling pretty heavy for me right now. I wanna consider on cutting ties with my mum, but I feel like I do try to do it by sending her some sort of long message before I block her on WhatsApp that she may or would try to stop me from doing it and guilt trip with all the “think positively” and stuff responses…

her wanting me to socialise with people and go to university face to face so that I can socialise or be “more present” in the environment but yet everytime I tell her the reasons related to my struggles with my disability, she keeps dismissing and invalidating them by telling me to stop saying that thing and to deal with it. It’s really frustrating. I’ve blocked her on all platforms for now but I hope this won’t lead her to have an attempt to try and reach out to me outside of that…

having a mother like her that’s trying to control me into doing things she expects of me that I’m not comfortable with facing has been more than enough for me to wish many times of wanting to cut ties with her. It’s sad that she doesn’t seem to be accepting of that tho only because I’m her kid and she does all these things “out of care” (in her opinion)

@Blackcloud I'm sorry things are feeling heavy for you right now sweet. I know this is a long term issue with your mother and her expectations of you in relation to many things.

I know this decision wouldn't have come easy for you but it sounds like it may be the right choice given how things have been.

I'm hopping off for the night, I'm sorry sweet I just don't have the capacity to be in this space right now with everything that's going on (I'm safe).

Hugs my beautiful friend ❤️.

Hiya @MissGremlin sorry it's been a while since I've checked in with you!

I have been reading though, and I want you to know I always am trying to keep tabs on everyone... might be harder for me to keep up with my replies to notifications but I am always trying to stay up to date with how our lovely members are doing. So even if you don't hear from me, know that I'm still here and still sending super comforting, fuzzy warm vibes to you and to the community 😊

I'm sorry that sleep has been extra rough for you lately hun. I dunno if you know the thing about how even just resting in a room with as little sensory input as possible is still helpful, even if we don't fall asleep? It's helped me a lot with managing the inevitable frustration that I get when I'm struggling to fall asleep.

I'm glad you have this space to be able to share, to be more unmasked than what it sounds like your day-to-day is like. And yet you are still so unrelentingly kind and caring, it is truly inspiring. I know it can be difficult sometimes to find reasons to stay, but I hope knowing that you are such a valued, distinct presence in this community can be something to hold onto.

Sending some very squishy cuddles to you (and to Casper too!) 💜

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

@MissGremlin no worries I’ll be off to bed too. Night night friend ❤️

Hello @Jynx, it's ok I know things are changing although I do find it scary and challenging to cope with.

I do try to just rest even if i can't sleep but with the way things have been resting still allows the thoughts to wreak havoc which then leads to things spiralling very quickly. (I'm safe)

I'm trying so hard to keep connected here and support others but I've realised that I'm very much pouring from an empty cup and I'm not sure how to fill my own cup or if it's even possible right now.

Thankyou for the kind words and the squishy cuddles, they are very much needed right now.

Hope things are going well for you ❤️.

@AlwaysMyself you got me thinking of dates and tomorrow is actually a really big one. It will be my oldest child's birthday (they don't live with me and haven't since 6 months of age) and I can't even wish them a happy birthday given the current situation 😞. There's another date aswell but I really don't want to go into that one right now.

@MissGremlin @AlwaysMyself @NightFury @Cuddlebear

Thankyou @heartathome sweet. Sending hugs right back to you ❤️