Battles

Thanks for letting me know about this poem! @MissGremlin I could relate. You have a soul-deep gift! It's raw, achingly honest, real, brave and vulnerable! You have articulated your feelings really well. I'm proud of you for posting it!

Sending gentle hugs and much love, my friend! 💜

Ah, shame you did not get much sleep @MissGremlin 😢, panic attack on waking does not sound fun or restful! Was it triggered by a nightmare do you think?

How are you feeling now? Have you been able to calm a little from the panic yet?

@MissGremlin support still not working hunny xxx

@heartathome thankyou sweet ❤️. It does take alot of courage to share especially as this is the raw truth of what I'm feeling and thinking. (I'm safe)

@AlwaysMyself it's an everyday/night occurrence with the panic attacks, everytime I try to sleep 😞. Sometimes they are triggered by nightmares, other times it's just out of nowhere. It makes sleeping hard cos I have anxiety over knowing what's coming if I do go to sleep.

I had to go to the shops so didn't have much time to compose myself and then had an incident happen there that upset and scared me (I'm safe). I've just gotten into bed with an iced coffee and some of my potato salad that I made today.

How has your day been sweet?

Hey @MissGremlin ,

Sorry to hear about your triggers. I hope you find some rest.

It's really good to see you here, connecting with the community.

Sitting with you.

Thankyou @tyme ❤️.

Hope you are going well.

Hugs @MissGremlin .
Ice coffee and potato salad in bed sounds good. I am glad you made the potato salad earlier, so that you can enjoy it now when you are feeling particularly not-good.

I knew you didn't sleep well every/most nights. Now i understand more why - I didn't realise the panic attacks were daily/nightly. 😓. That would be terrible. And anxiety about going to sleep I can imagine could even make it worse, because the body is then primed for it also. what a cycle!

When I had my panic attacks they were only when awake - so being asleep was the relief time. But for you it sounds like that is the even worse time - and daytime I know it already challenging enough as it is!

I am so glad you have Casper with you, and how good he is as a support-dog-in-training helping you with calming during these times.

Oh, and @MissGremlin , I was wondering if it's OK for me to ask about if there is any specific dates that would be helpful for me to ensure I check-in with you prior to? (I can put them in my calendar, as I would love to be able to support you especially leading up to when you may need extra extra support on top of the normal amounts)

Totally OK if you don't want to share any "special dates" though. Just an offer if you would like increased support.

@AlwaysMyself thankyou sweet. I'm glad that I made it earlier this morning too otherwise I probably wouldn't have had the energy to do it.

It's a vicious cycle. The panic attacks during the day last between 5-30 minutes whereas the ones that I wake up with during the night last between 1-3 hours. It makes getting decent sleep almost impossible, I sleep for 10-30 minutes at a time before waking up having a panic attack and then after riding that out and finally being able to go back to sleep the same thing happens again.

Casper really is amazing and he'll lay across me to help calm me down.

As for dates I don't really have any other than one and that's the 20th December. I guess that's one good thing about my memory being so messed up, i can remember traumatic events but not the dates. It actually sometimes makes it harder cos things can pop up at any given time without warning. Whether subconsciously my brain does know the date or if it's just at random.