Battles

Hello @NightFury my sweet, I'm sorry i didn't get to do any Lego with you today.

How has your day been?

Hi @MissGremlin that's okay, no apologies needed.

My day has been okay. I've been feeling all kinds of...disconnected and weird, but...I did some study, went and got Luna food, took her for a walk around the block and shouted myself an iced coffee.

How's your day been?

@NightFury i hear you sweet but despite how you have been feeling you've done so well to get things done and even treating yourself to an iced coffee.

My day has been hard, I'm glad it's almost over. I did manage to catch up with my friend and her bubs today which was nice but once I was home everything came crashing down.

What's on for you tomorrow sweet?

Decades ago when I was guide leader my indigenous uncle gave me a name that means Eagle. He had known me for years. Reason for his choice of name was based on protective care and care for younger children, trying to keep them in places where they would be safe.

With being leader of croquet team with over arching guiding, assertive when needed…. I’m ok with it. 😀

Sounds like it was a lovely experience for you catching up with a friend and her bub @MissGremlin

I agreed to fill in for the ladies lawn bowls team. So, I'm playing bowls tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it, and should have said no, but I'm on holidays and couldn't think of a reason to say no.

What about you?

@NightFury it was nice.

Well I'm hoping lawn bowls goes well for you tomorrow sweet.

I don't have anything on tomorrow.

Hugs @MissGremlin squishy hugs.

Thankyou @NightFury my sweet. Sending hugs to you too ❤️.

Once again I'm stuck awake, riddled with thoughts that I can't escape. So here's my way of getting things out in the hope that I can maybe then get some sleep. I'm safe and doing my best to keep it that way.

Trigger warning.

This pain is more than I can stand,

it took so much to make this call.

please reach out and take my hand,

can you help me before I fall?

I don't understand, won't you help me?

I feel so alone and I'm terrified.

I want to end the pain, i want to be free,

will that then make you satisfied?

I reached out and took a chance,

I found the strength to be brave.

But I feel like i wasn't worth a glance,

and now my future looks so grave.

I feel like I'm losing myself,

this body is becoming an empty shell.

Maybe you should look at yourself,

you've caused me pain, can't you tell?

I know it's therapy that i need,

I no longer want to feel this way.

I ask you to help me, I beg and I plead,

please hurry before I slip away.

I've given up and now it's too late,

all you had to do was listen and care.

But you didn't help, you sealed my fate,

Now even if you try, I won't be there.

I've given up and now it's too late,

all you had to do was listen and care.

But you didn't help, you sealed my fate,

Now even if you try, I won't be there.

I find the last verses disturbing @MissGremlin . Are you okay? 💜