Battles

Hey @MissGremlin,

We can hear tonight has been really tough and challenging for you of not being able to have some sleeps due to feeling triggered by the meeting yesterday. Sounds like the meeting has brought up lots of big emotions to you as it has made you recalled all those painful and traumatic experiences in the past.

Feeling nobody sees how you constantly battle with those intense thoughts and urges is understandably overwhelming and difficult. We would like to reassure you that you don't need to cope with this on your own and you are welcome to reach out to some one-on-one support (e.g. https://www.lifeline.org.au/chat and https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support) to access that extra emotional support you deserve.

We hope you can be gentle to yourself today and that Casper can give you some love during this difficult time.

Thankyou @CalmOwl ❤️.

I'm about to have to get up to start my routine, thinking I'm going to try to take things very slowly and gently today.

I hope you were able to get some more sleep @MissGremlin and I want you to know that we see the effort you put in every day to get through to the next one. We see you not only working to keep yourself safe, but the encouragement and support and hope that you share with others on here.

I hope you can take today gently and rest even if you're not able to sleep

Thankyou @Ru-bee sweet ❤️. I was able to get a bit more rest this morning. I decided to have a lay down today and I had dozed off but I've just woken up in so much pain 😞. I'm safe, trying to manage getting up to take some pain relief.

@MissGremlin I’m sorry I’m only getting back to you now. It must have been incredibly upsetting to open up about how much you’re struggling and then be told the mental health team was closing your case. I can understand why that left you feeling hurt and unheard, especially when you’ve been trying so hard to access the ongoing support you need.

Please don’t take their decision as meaning you’re not worthy of help. You deserve support, and I really hope the options you’ve been advocating for can still be explored. You’ve put so much effort into speaking up about what you need, even when it’s been exhausting.

I’m also sorry about the unexpected cost of your phone repair on top of everything else. Please remember that you don’t have to get everything done at once, even the smallest steps are enough when things feel this heavy.

How are you this evening? 💛

P.S the photos of Casper are so cute!

It's completely ok @Nala2022, it's lovely to see you here though very unexpected in the evening hours 😂.

It was so disappointing, it shocked me as I really thought that they'd finally heard me and were going to do the referrals like we had talked about. I don't even know where to turn now, it's just up to me and my GP again but we've already exhausted all options.

The phone screen really was just the icing on the cake, especially when it wasn't my fault yet I have to be the one to sort it out. After getting a couple of reminders of bills coming up today I've realised that there's more money going out then what there is coming in, so I'm not sure how I'm supposed to survive.

It's been a really hard day, my anxiety has been alot to manage plus the thoughts/urges on top of everything. Today's been a week since I last relied on a coping strategy to help with sleep and the nights where I'm struggling to sleep it's getting really hard to not give in just so I can get some rest. I'm safe at the moment, sitting in bed with Casper, watching Buffy and Angel and doing my diamond art.

How are you doing sweet?

@MissGremlin Very uncommon for me to be on here in the evening 😂💛

I’m so sorry it’s been such a difficult day. Having to start figuring things out again when you already feel like you’ve exhausted so many options must be incredibly disheartening

It makes sense that your anxiety is feeling harder to manage with so many things weighing on you at once. I also hear how difficult the nights have been, especially when you’re exhausted and just want some relief. I think it’s important to recognise how hard you’re working to get through those moments

I’m glad you’re snuggled up with Casper, watching Buffy and Angel, and doing your diamond art. I love Buffy! 😍 That sounds like a lovely little cosy space to settle into for the evening

I’m doing well, thank you for asking 😊

@Nala2022 it is, but I'm glad you're here ❤️.

It is definitely disheartening, I just know where to turn to now to try to get support.

Having people in my space both yesterday and today has been hard, especially with the traumatic history with them. Today was straight after I got home so I didn't even get a chance to calm after being out, it's put my on edge for the rest of the night. I've been replaying conversations and interactions over and over again in my head, even things that have happened years ago and I'm struggling to get out of that loop. I know i can't change anything that's been said or done but it doesn't stop me fixating on it and wishing things were different.

It's definitely a nice selection of comforting things and I'm trying to settle and remind myself that I'm safe, my breathing has been fast today and I'm so dysregulated today. No matter how hard i try to slow things down i don't feel that I'm winning so I'm trying to just sit with it (I'm safe).

I'm glad that you're doing well sweet ☺️

@MissGremlin I’m sorry it’s been such a difficult and unsettling day. It sounds like you’ve had so much to process and having things bring up past experiences while you’re already feeling overwhelmed must be exhausting. Please try to be gentle with yourself

I’m glad you’re trying to settle with your comforting things and reminding yourself that you’re safe. Sometimes, even when we’re doing our best to calm ourselves, our minds and bodies need a little time to catch up. You don’t have to feel like you’re winning or getting it right, just taking things moment by moment is enough 💛

I'm trying @Nala2022, thankyou sweet ❤️.

Casper is laying spread out on my bed, he's dreaming so he's twitching away and his tail is wagging, it's so cute to watch and listen to his little noises 😂.

Did you get up to anything today sweet?