Battles

I'm so happy for you @MissGremlin sounds like a huge relief!! I'm glad you are trying to listen to your body along the way and not pushing yourself too hard. I hope the remainder of your day is a relaxing one ^_^

@Jynx oh I tried so hard to keep it going. But I've now had 3 things go wrong, my car roof lining has completely come down, my old phone that I use at night time to help wind down got broken by someone and the chicken i brought tonight for dinner was off. It was good while it lasted anyway 😂.

Very frustrating @MissGremlin but having frustrations doesn't undo good things!! The broken phone is really not fun, especially when someone else is responsible :(

I hope it hasn't been too challenging, and you can find some alternative for dinner without too much hassle.

@Jynx I know it doesn't, it's just been hard when I really don't have those lighter moments very often. The phone is worrying me as that's part of my night time routine, I'm hoping I can get it fixed soon but it's not exactly cheap to do.

I've lost my appetite now anyway so I'm not worrying about dinner. I had a ham and cheese toasted sandwich this morning so I've eaten today at least.

How are you doing sweet?

@MissGremlin yeah I can understand how losing access to an important part of routine would be a huge challenge. I hope you're able to find a place to fix it for a reasonable price.

Appreciate you checking in hun, I'm travelling along okay :)

I hope you can get some sleep tonight and that tomorrow treats you well.

@Jynx I'll take it into a place tomorrow to get a cost, but I know from last time it's not cheap.

Glad you're travelling along okay ☺️.

Thankyou sweet ❤️.

Waiting to chat to a crisis service at the moment as things are feeling a bit intense and I'm hoping to catch things before it gets too bad (I'm safe). Doing my diamond art and watching Buffy while I'm waiting.

Tonight has been really rough, I've not been able to sleep properly and then when i did i got woken up by police banging on my door. I've been trying so hard to sleep but everytime I close my eyes i see things flashing through them, things I've thought about doing to hurt myself and they are extremely graphic. I'm also struggling to keep still, it's like my body keeps having shocks put through it that make me have to move or i just twitch from them without being in control of it (I was warned about this starting by the paramedics that came out on Saturday, so that's a little scary). I'm so tired there's no denying that but I'm unable to just rest cos of what's happening.

It's frustrating that police showed up when it wasn't necessary, someone jumped to the wrong conclusion after talking to the crisis service earlier, i told them I was going to try to sleep and that I was safe from doing anything. Whilst I'm writing this post I just had the ambulance service ring me and say that they are sending an ambulance out, I told them it's not necessary and that I'm trying to sleep. The person I spoke to put me on hold while he talked to someone else, so hopefully I won't just have one show up tonight. I feel so bad when this happens, like I'm wasting their time and that I'm a burden on the system cos they aren't needed.

I don't understand how I was able to sleep so well last night but tonight I can't, I keep feeling like I'm doing something wrong, that I'm failing but yet I didn't do anything different. It took me so long to doze off before with the graphic visions and body spasms, now I have to try to go through it all again and hope that I'm not disturbed again.

I'm safe, frustrated, scared and upset but safe. I just needed to get this out, it's hard to sit with things alone especially during the quiet and dark nights. I'm laying here snuggled up with Casper.

Hi @MissGremlin, I'm replying to this post and also your post from yesterday.

I’m glad you got to experience some lighter moments yesterday and finally had a night of quality sleep. After everything you’ve been going through, you deserve that little bit of relief. I also think it’s positive that you recognised when you needed to rest rather than pushing yourself too hard.

I’m so sorry last night was such a frightening and exhausting experience though. Please remember that you haven’t failed or done anything wrong. Having a difficult night doesn’t take away from the progress or relief you experienced, and it doesn’t mean you’re back at square one

I also want you to know that you’re not a burden, and you’re not wasting anyone’s time by needing support. Given what you’ve described about the graphic visions and the body spasms, I hope you can speak with a health professional about these symptoms, particularly as they’re affecting your ability to rest and you were previously warned they might occur. If they’re happening now or worsening, please seek urgent medical advice

I’m glad you’ve shared how things are for you, and I hope you can be gentle with yourself today 💛

Hello @Nala2022, it's been such a horrible time. After I made my post I had the ambulance service ring me another 2 times so I barely had any sleep. I couldn't even manage my routine this morning, I'm still in bed.

Yesterday was lighter but the evening things crashed and that happened hard and fast. I couldn't even manage telling the ambulance service about what was really happening, all I was focused on is trying to stop them from coming out.

I'm safe anyway, just laying in bed feeling really unwell and ashamed. I might have an iced coffee soon if I can manage it, my tummy isn't feeling right at the moment.

How are you sweet?

@MissGremlin I'm so sorry it's been such a horrible time. It sounds like things became overwhelming very quickly, and I'm sorry you were left trying to manage so much at once

Please try not to feel ashamed. You're having a really hard time, and struggling to explain what's happening when you're overwhelmed doesn't mean you've done anything wrong

It's okay to take things slowly today. You don't have to force yourself through your usual routine, and even having a little iced coffee or simply resting is enough for now if that's all you can manage 💛

I'm doing well thank you for asking. I just made myself a toastie and coffee