Battles

@Nala2022 thankyou sweet and thankyou for the chats today. I hope you have a lovely rest of your day ❤️.

I've just woken up after having such a horrific nightmare, I actually woke up physically trying to scream cos of what was happening in the nightmare 😞. Casper was concerned about me when I woke up and now he's laying across me to help ease the panic. I'm shaking at the moment, it's getting harder trying to manage everything that's happening especially when things are getting worse. It took me so long to fall asleep as I've got constant static noise in my ears tonight, so right now I just want to cry cos I'm so tired and just want to sleep.

I just needed to get this out, I'm safe and trying to get through to a crisis service to talk things through.

Hi @MissGremlin

That sounds like an incredibly distressing way to wake up, particularly when you were already exhausted and having difficulty settling to sleep. The shaking and panic following such an intense nightmare can take some time to settle, so it makes sense that things feel difficult to manage right now.

It’s positive that you’ve recognised you need some additional support and are trying to connect with a crisis service rather than managing all of this alone. That takes so much strength, especially when you're already feeling this way. For now, being somewhere you feel safe and allowing yourself some time to recover from what has just happened may be enough. I hope you're able to get through to the crisis service and get some rest tonight.

Take care ✨🌻

-SunsetSunrise

Hello @SunsetSunrise, it's so hard to go through constantly but it's been getting worse. The nightmares are incredibly vivid and often play out in my head over and over again for hours after. So not only am I trying to calm from the panic but I'm also plagued by the nightmares.

Being exhausted means that those thoughts are so much stronger and harder to fight which is why I chose to reach out to a crisis service. When there's too much happening at once my brain goes to those suicidal thoughts to a dangerous point and I know I'm not very strong at the moment given the event events. Usually I'd try to ride things out but I recognise that right now isn't the time to try to brave it alone or I'm risking my safety. While I'm waiting I've got Casper snuggled up to me and I'm listening to music to keep myself distracted and keeping connected here aswell (I'm safe).

Recognising what you need, where your limits are and reaching out for support anyway takes so much strength @MissGremlin .That's something so many people struggle to do. Knowing that things have been more difficult recently so your limits are lower and reaching out when you'd usually ride it alone is a special kind of self-awareness. That too is a strength. I'm glad you have Casper and are connecting here while you wait. I hope that you're not waiting too long. If you need a distraction here is an odd recommendation that's been eating my time recently. Try watching youtube videos about NPCs in GTA 5. It sounds odd but they built the game to be really realistic so there's functioning police forces, ambulance and fire services, bus lines. Watching people follow them around and see what they do is very entertaining.

-SunsetSunrise

Hi @MissGremlin, I’m really sorry you had such a horrible nightmare and woke up feeling so panicked. It sounds like you’ve had a really rough night, especially on top of everything else you’ve been dealing with. I’m glad Casper was there to comfort you

Did you end up getting connected with the crisis service? I hope you were able to talk things through and get some support. How are you feeling this morning? 💛

Hello @Nala2022, it was a really rough night and I woke up several times with nightmares/panic attacks.

I did manage to connect to a crisis service and it helped to talk things through until they started talking about calling emergency services and I panicked as it wasn't what was needed. I'm feeling so tired this morning and my throat is feeling dodgy, I've only just woken up and I'm feeling shaky at the moment. I'm about to get up to do Casper breakfast and make myself a cuppa.

How are you sweet?

I’m really sorry you had such a rough night @MissGremlin 😞

I’m glad you were able to connect with the crisis service and that talking things through helped, even though I can understand why the conversation about emergency services made you panic

Hopefully Casper breakfast and a nice cuppa help you ease into the morning a little. Take things slowly today if you can, especially after such a rough night.

I’m doing okay thank you lovely. It's been a chilly morning, but the sun is finally coming out which is nice 😊

@Nala2022 I'm really not keen to go back to hospital after the last experience. But yes it helped to talk things through until that point. Some of them need to learn the difference of just discussing suicidal thoughts to someone actually acting on them 😂.

I'm still yet to move, Casper was snuggled up next to me and then he started giving me kisses. I shall get up now, i can feel my head hurting so I might need to take pain relief but that's feeling like a trigger at the moment (in safe).

Glad to hear that you're doing ok and that the sun is starting to come out now. It's really windy here so I know it's going to be chilly outside when I take Casper out.

I can understand that @MissGremlin. I’m glad it still helped you to talk things through, and you should be able to feel like you can speak openly with them about your suicidal thoughts. I can also understand how it can feel overwhelming when the conversation quickly moves towards escalation, especially when you’re keeping safe and not feeling at immediate risk

Casper is so loving! I’m glad you’ve got him there to comfort you. Try to get up slowly if you can, but if it feels like too much right now, that’s okay too. Just go at your own pace 💛

Thank you 😊 Hopefully it’s not too cold for you!