Battles

Hi @MissGremlin

Sounds like Casper is a great support - focus on how it feels holding Casper, how you can match your breathing, in and out, nice and slow.

Use your beautiful diamond art to help ground you - follow the patterns slowly and watch your breath, keep it paced and calm.

You have done a great job reaching out for help and I am sorry the lines have not been helpful, thankyou for leaning into the SANE forums for support.

Sleep will come - you are safe with Casper and your communities are here for you.

take care

Mindee

Hello @Mindee, it really helps to have Casper with me, sometimes I can match my breathing to his but unfortunately my heart rate sits higher than normal and it's hard when his breath is slow from being relaxed.

I've packed up my diamond art for the day and I'm laying in bed now. Casper is right up against me with his head resting on my stomach.

I'm just so tired of having to fight these thoughts, there's no break, no chance to catch my breath, it's just constant.

Thankyou for your support, it means alot.

Again I'm safe for the moment and trying so hard to keep it that way. I just want to be able to sleep to get some peace and quiet from the thoughts.

@MissGremlin

you are working so hard to manage these feelings - reaching out consistently and advocating for yourself is tiresome but so important to reclaim your power for calm.

Stay focussed on Casper and on your strength and if you need in person support because things become tougher before the sun comes be sure to make those calls again.

Wishing you a few sleepful moments - you deserve them.

Mindee 🙂

@Mindee it's definitely tiresome but I'm trying.

There's a massive barrier when it comes to being able to get in person support, i know it's what I need but I can't cos I have Casper. You don't know how much I just want to be able to go to hospital to get help but I can't, so instead i have to try to fight myself and hope that I'm strong enough to do so. It's exhausting and I just want someone else to carry everything for a while so I don't have to.

Surely sleep has to come soon, I hope so cos I feel like i have a seizure coming and I really want to try to avoid that.

Again I'm safe for now and laying with Casper.

Is tonight over yet? I've had enough of it already. I only got a little bit of rest and that's only after having a seizure and then i was out of it. I just woke up having a full on panic attack but no idea why or what caused it. The second i woke up i was hit with the thoughts all over again and with such intensity that's really pushing me to my limits. There's just no catching a break at all.

I'm safe for the moment. I'm in bed and I have Casper laying across me to try to help me calm down.

Hey @MissGremlin, I’m really sorry you went through such a rough night, that sounds incredibly overwhelming, especially being hit with a panic attack and those intense thoughts right as you woke up.

It makes sense your body and mind would feel completely shaken after everything, especially with such little rest and the seizure on top of it all. That’s a lot to deal with at once.

I’m glad you shared that you’re safe right now, and that you’ve got Casper there with you, having something grounding like that can really help in moments like this. Even just focusing on his presence, his weight, or your breathing for a few moments at a time can sometimes take the edge off a little.

You don’t have to carry all of this at once, just taking things moment by moment is enough right now. I’m glad you reached out, and we’re here with you

Nala2022 🌟

Thankyou @Nala2022 ❤️.

Last night was incredibly rough, there were times when I didn't know if I could make it through it, times when I didn't want to, but here I am. I'm sore, I'm emotional and my head is pounding. I'm feeling scared and overwhelmed at the thought of facing today, there's a part of me that just wants to call it quits and give up, then there's that tiny, very tiny part that's saying 'just take it one baby step at a time and second by second'. It's completely conflicting but with how I'm feeling that first option sounds so much more appealing right now.

I'm safe for now, I've fed Casper and taken him to the toilet, made a cuppa and sat back in bed with it. I have pain relief with me to take aswell and I'm really hoping it takes even just the edge off of the physical pain I'm in.

Hey @MissGremlin , I’m really sorry last night was so incredibly hard

That tiny part of you saying “one step at a time” matters, even if it feels small right now.

You don’t have to face the whole day at once. Just focusing on the next small step is enough right now.

If you feel up to it, do you have anyone around you or someone you could reach out to for a bit of support today? And if things start to feel more overwhelming, it might also help to reach out to Lifeline on 13 11 14, if you need someone to talk to in the moment. I’m really glad you’ve reached out here as well, I find writing things out can really help sometimes too 🤗

Hello @Nala2022, wasn't sure if you would still be around but I'm glad you are ☺️.

I'm trying to lean into that tiny part and just see how it goes. I know today is going to get rough (though there's a part of me that hopes it doesn't) so taking it one moment to the next is the best I can do. (I'm safe).

I don't have anyone around me physically that I can reach out to which makes for a really lonely time when one just wants connection. But that's why I have this space, a space where people care and understand and there is that connection even if it's through a screen. Also know lifeline is there if I need them. But for now just chatting to the community and trying to keep connected feels ok.

Thankyou again and I hope you have a wonderful day ❤️.

Yes, I'm still here @MissGremlin 😊

It makes a lot of sense that you’re trying to lean into that small part of you and just take things moment by moment today, especially when you already know it might feel tough. That sounds like a really steady way of getting through something really heavy

I’m sorry to hear you don’t have anyone physically around you right now. That kind of loneliness can make everything feel so much harder, especially when you just want connection and reassurance in the moment. I’m glad this space feels a bit supportive for you though, and that you’re able to stay connected here

You’re doing a lot already just by noticing how you’re feeling, staying present with it, and reaching out rather than holding it all in on your own. We’re here with you in this 🤍