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Managing thoughts of suicide & self-harm

Battles

Battles

Hi all, does anyone else just feel like life is just one big sh!t show? It's just one thing after another, constant drama, family issues, money struggles, stress, anxiety it's just always something.

When do things get easier, do things ever change?

I've been through more than i care to think about in my life but today has pushed me to breaking point and it's bringing up alot of bad memories of previous suicide attempts.

I just feel like it's not worth it, it's not worth fighting, not worth hanging on anymore.

13169 replies

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In response to: Battles

Re: Battles

Thank you @MissGremlin. I feel like I have. I’m getting concerned about all the diamond art though. Like have I used it to replace other things. But at least I’m doing something and not sitting on the lounge looking at the blank tv screen. I have just folded the sheets and doona cover as they came out of the dryer too. Now tomorrow is all about making the stuffing mix, stuffing the tomatoes and cleaning the house. Should only take me 3-4 hours. Plus a load of washing.

I hope so. I’d ideally like to sleep deeply and until Pix’s alarm goes off at 7:45. I’m going to try and stay up later and see if that helps.

Im glad you are going about it slowly. I hope it helps you unwind a bit.

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@Captain24 i think it's good you've been able to focus on the diamond art. It's hard to know if you've used it to replace other things but it's definitely better than just sitting staring at a blank screen. Well done for folding the sheets and the doona sweet. You just reminded me that I need to do the washing tomorrow, I'm worried I'm going to forget again like last week. Sounds like you've got tomorrow planned out on what you need to do, hopefully it doesn't take long and then you can rest after.

That would be so good if you can sleep until the alarm goes off for Pix. Staying up a bit later might help.

I've just sat in bed but I'm feeling really overwhelmed (I'm safe). I've put music on and I'm going to see if I can do my diamond art.

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

It’s a pretty easy list @MissGremlin. I’ve also decided that it doesn’t matter if I don’t clean the whole house every second day. I vacuumed the other day and an hour later Jett left a clump of hair on the floor. I have dogs and that happens plus no one usually comes around anyway. The place is clean even though I haven’t cleaned it since the other morning. Just need to keep the kitchen bench clean for my sanity. A new way of self care.

It would be awesome to sleep for a bit. Her alarm is going off at 7:45 so it’s not late. I’m really tired now and want to go to sleep but I’ll do a few more colours and then see how I feel. I need to keep pushing it out.

What has made you overwhelmed? I hope the music is calming for you and you can start the diamond art. You must be nearly finished by now?

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@Captain24 I'm glad it's an easy list. I think it's good that you've come to that decision, I try to keep on top of keeping certain things clean like the sink, bathroom, toilet, kitchen bench, stove but the rest of the house i only do when it's really necessary. I vacuum my house and then end up with both dog hair and bits of dry grass that come in from outside so it's never fully clean. But like you I don't have anyone that comes over.

It would definitely be awesome to sleep until the alarm goes off. Doing another few colours sounds like a good plan then hopefully you can get a good night's sleep.

Bedtime routine didn't go smoothly, everything is really messed up at the moment and it's having a big impact on me (I'm safe). I have all sorts of music on my play list but I find music relaxing no matter what type it is. I'm getting closer to finishing my diamond art but still have a bit to go.

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

My eyes are going blurry! 😂 @MissGremlin . I must be tired. I’ll give it until 9:30 but I want to try for 10. I really need a deep sleep.

Im sorry it’s so hard. I feel like your routine is usually a comfort to you. I can only imagine how unsettling that it didn’t go the way you wanted. I don’t cope with a change or distraction in routine!

I won’t get mine finished this weekend so it’ll have to wait until next weekend to finish it. I’m looking forward to seeing the final product if your thoughts. Quick ones give results quickly but the harder ones are more rewarding as they take longer and there is more to do but the end product is a lot better.

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@Captain24 oh not the blurry eyes 😂. I'm not even tired which honestly I don't know how that's possible but really does feel like that real manic state.

Yes my routine is usually a comfort but the long weekend has messed it up and I'm struggling with it (I'm safe). I'm glad you understand what it's like, it's honestly so hard when things change.

I'm hoping I can get mine finished within the next couple of days cos I really want to be able to see the final result. I'll definitely share it here if I can get it done. The quick and easy ones are good but I do like the satisfaction of finishing the larger ones. I've been looking for some square ones to try, just have to wait until pay next week.

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

Yes please share @MissGremlin. It’s something to be proud of.

The square ones are harder, mine are all a square, well my good ones not the Kmart ones. I order mine from Australian diamond painting but the are expensive. They do photos too which is how I’ve got the dogs. I think I have 2 more here to do but I think they are smaller. I have a photo of mums dog that I want to do and I think I have a photo of Pix and Jett that I want to do. Just have to check how dark it is since Jett is black.

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@Captain24 if I get it done I'll definitely share it.

I like the idea of the challenge with the square ones. I just order ones from shein or ebay but I'm happy with how they turn out. I've seen a few places do custom ones but I'm not sure how one of Casper would work out given that he's completely black 😂.

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

I never thought of looking there @MissGremlin. A black dog is hard as there is no colour variation. I did a black dog for a friend it it was okish but not great. That’s what started me with diamond art.

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@Captain24 i could do Casper wearing one of his outfits, that might work out ok?. Guess it's something to look into depending on how things go. The ones on shein are really cheap which is why I can afford to get them.

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