Battles

The noise really does get louder at night @Captain24. It's so frustrating not being able to sleep. How are you feeling this morning sweet?

Not being able to sleep is hard @MissGremlin

Ive been awake since 4:39. I stayed in bed for an hour but I just couldn’t do it any longer so I got up and have been doing my diamond art. I’m not enjoying it but I’m not hating it either so I guess that’s a start and I don’t have to think. I don’t have the capacity to think.

Im not really feeling tired though. Just really flat and down.

@Captain24 hoping you can get some rest in today sweet.

Can relate to feeling really flat and down, I have lots of tears at the moment that I didn't want to happen but there was no holding them back. It was just one little thing that tipped everything over the edge. Should have been a happy thing and it was for a moment before reality kicked in. But anyway I'm safe, might put something on TV and do my diamond art to see if I can calm down.

I’m really tired now @MissGremlin. I have the webinar at 12. I’d really like to try and not sleep and see if that helps me better tonight. Not sure how I will go though.

Im sorry there is tears but there is only so much you can hold in. The dam has to break at some stage. I’m sorry it tipped you over the edge. Even good things that don’t work out are a really big thing especially right now.

Diamond art sounds like a good idea. I’ve completed another section, now starting the third but I’ve been on the phone to mum for the last hour.

@Captain24 I've tried to do that, with not sleeping but for me it didn't work. Hope the Webinar goes ok.

I've managed to stop the tears, though I know when I talk to my counsellor soon they will come flooding back again. It was a glimmer of hope that was ripped away which is why it hurts so much.

I've just started doing my diamond art, you're making some really good progress on it sweet. Was it good talking to your mum?

I’m exhausted. @MissGremlin. I don’t think I can do it.

I hope it’s good, the last couple haven’t been overly helpful but this one is bipolar related.

I’m sorry that happened. That must hurt a lot. I’m with you in it.

I’ve spent a lot of hours on it! It’s good to see it coming together though. It’s starting to get really fiddly now. Lots of different colours. I just reached the actual dogs not just the pram!

I hope you find it a bit of distraction.

The call was ok I guess. But I have to go around there this afternoon to pick up some food for the dogs. I don’t want to but they need dinner tonight! 😂

@Captain24 i just finished the phone call with my counsellor. I was an absolute emotional wreck, but she listened and supported me through it all. She's honestly amazing but I know our time together is coming to an end (cos it's not the right service for me) which scares me, she's doing her best to find me support though before that happens. I just made myself an iced coffee and took some pain relief cos my head is pounding from crying so much.

That's so exciting that you are starting to reach the dogs, it is so cool to see it coming together especially as they take so long.

Hoping the trip over there to get food for the dogs goes ok, can completely understand not wanting to though.

Hi @MissGremlin just read your post on the Toolbox plus on here.

its great to hear you have the good support and rapport with your counsellor plus the help they are giving to try to find the best person for you.

sorry to hear the time with this counsellor is coming to an end, hoping it doesn’t happen for some time. I know how unsettling it is for me to start with someone new plus knowing there is no help, I’ve experienced both within last couple years. Can’t even imagine how unsettling and scary it must be for you.

im still feeling unsettled and not 100% safe on the forums due to trying to explain things about RSD plus message from mods. Don’t want to mention more than that, am feeling you will understand.

trying for some humour for us both.
Last few days I think I’ve dried up all the lakes and rivers in Australia due to my tears. Which country did you “visit” today? USA, UK OR somewhere else? are you borrowing from an ocean? Lol

what diamond art are you currently working on? I remember reading something about a dragon.

I’m trying to working on a cross stitch which is kittens in a basket. 2nd time working on it as I made errors last time and had to undo everything.

Sending you lots of virtual hugs across the miles (if you are ok with that). 🤗🤗💛

Hello @Flutterbug9 sweet, my counsellor is great but she's only a family counsellor so not qualified to give me the support I need hence why she's trying to find the support I do need, she's just hitting the same barriers that I am which is frustrating for us both. Her manager is not happy that she's supporting me as it's not the right service but she's fighting to do so until I can get the right support. It's very unsettling to think that I'll be left with no support, or a service that promises x, y, z but then doesn't follow through with any of it. I'm sorry you've had those experiences too sweet, it's really unhelpful.

I'm can understand how you'd still be feeling unsettled and can relate to it very well. Just know that I'm always here for you whenever you want/need to chat and are feeling ok to be in this space, there's never any pressure at all if it makes you uncomfortable being here ❤️.

Bahaha i think i borrowed from an ocean today 😂. Once those tears started flowing there was no stopping them for me today.

The one I'm doing at the moment is a dragon and a large one too.

Ooohh i love cross stitch and the kitten in the basket sounds gorgeous, maybe i should do some of mine again. How frustrating is it when you make a mistake and have to go back to undo it, it drives me crazy.

Thankyou for the hugs sweet, they are very much appreciated. Sending you lots of hugs aswell ❤️.

Hi @MissGremlin how has Monday been treating you?