Battles

I hear how hard things are right now @MissGremlin - sending you a million hugs of healing and comfort 💜

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

@Jynx things are definitely hard right now. Trying to find purpose, glimmers, little bits of hope, anything I can to cling onto to try to hold me here (I'm safe). I'm currently sitting frozen on my kitchen floor, but I'm still trying to keep connected and I'm supporting a friend while we ride through the panic and tough thoughts together.

Thankyou for the hugs, they are very much needed ❤️.

You're welcome @MissGremlin and glad you have a buddy to help co-regulate through the intensity 💜

Give Casper some ear scritches for me? 😋

@Jynx there's only so much you can do by text though given that phone calls aren't an option. But nonetheless we are both there for each other.

Casper loves a good ear scritch, I'll be sure to give him some when he's up on the bed with me ☺️.

I'm feeling disappointed in myself about a specific situation (I'm safe).

@MissGremlin sometimes it's hard not to be disappointed in choices we make, reactions we have, or actions we take. It can help to remind ourselves we are always only ever doing the best we can with the skills and knowledge we have at the time. It's also how we learn 💜

@Jynx it's the fact that I'm going to miss out on my sons 18th birthday cos I can't deal with the fact that there's going to be so many people there in a public place. It frustrates me that I'm like this, that I get overwhelmed and struggle with panic attacks and can't just enjoy going out to places.

Sounds like, hard as it is, you are in a way choosing yourself @MissGremlin - not putting yourself in a situation that may exacerbate your struggles or completely overwhelm your already low mental energy. Maybe you can reach out to your son and make plans to do something nice, just the two of you? Something that is meaningful to you both, but that is more within your current wheelhouse...

Not the same, sure - but a special memory nonetheless.

@Jynx yes that's what I'll do. I know my son is understanding so I'm not worried about him being upset with me, it's just my own frustration towards myself over it. I have my counsellor appointment tomorrow which I'm worried about, there's alot to talk about but I'm also anxious that she's going to have to terminate our sessions which will leave me with no support.

How does one sleep when you can't switch off your thoughts?. I was dozing off before and I know I'm so tired but everytime I close my eyes the thoughts get stronger and louder (I'm safe). I've tried so many thing to wind down so that I can rest but I feel stuck cos nothing has worked. I'm laying in bed and I'm snuggled up with Casper, I just want to be able to sleep

I don’t have any suggestions. I find the noise is louder at night when I go to bed. I out in my white noise and hope to drown them out but I am also on sleep meds that aren’t working right now. I tossed and turned for nearly 2 hours last night before I fell asleep. Nothing was working. I tried every trick in my book @MissGremlin