So it's 2.30am and I'm unable to sleep. Here's a poem that I wrote to try to get things out of my head. I'm safe and I'm snuggled up to Casper.
The nights are long, I'm stuck awake,
my chest is tight, I start to shake.
I try to breathe, count one, then two,
but nothing works, air won’t go through.
My heart beats fast, I feel the dread,
the same bad thoughts fill up my head.
The panic grows, I lose my ground,
a storm inside to which I am bound.
The night feels louder than the day,
the silence screams, it won't go away.
I try to stand, I try to fight,
but the pain grows stronger every night.
It sits with me, it won’t let go,
it follows everywhere I go.
Each memory cuts, sharp and deep,
they linger still, they steal my sleep.
I lay here alone in the dark,
hoping to feel some kind of spark.
I reach for light that’s never near,
and only feel the weight of fear.
The days go on like nothing’s wrong,
like I should move, like I belong.
But I feel stuck, I've lost the race,
I shouldn't be here taking up space.
My body won’t calm down at all,
I feel myself begin to fall.
The panic hits, it takes it's toll,
it takes my breath, I lose control.
I’m losing ground I used to hold,
my hands are weak, my heart is cold.
I tried to fight, I tried to stand,
but now I don't think I can.
I can’t hold on, I can’t pretend,
my strengths gone, I've reached the end.
The fight is gone, I release my grip,
I let go and allow myself to slip.
I close my eyes, I breathe no more,
the fight is gone, tired to the core.
No strength remains, no need to try,
I let it go and whisper goodbye.
@AuntGlow @Jynx @rav3n
