Battles

Hello my friend,

I am sorry I had to leave last night, but I was thinking of you. @MissGremlin

How did today go? Were you able to check-in with the GP?

Also, it's 100% completely fair that you are feeling disheartened by the lack of support. It would be incredibly challenging to feel like you can barely catch a breath in between things not going to plan... you are doing so well so show up for yourself and ask for support and that deserves to be acknowledged. 💛

Hello @AuntGlow sweet, it's ok.

I had a phone appointment this afternoon and my doctor is organising an xray for my hand. My doctor said that he knows I'm going to end up in hospital within the next few weeks cos of where things are heading, things are so touch and go at the moment, it's a scary space to be in (I'm safe).

I had a dentist appointment this morning it was only for a 3D xray but it was rather triggering cos they have to put a thing around your forehead to keep you from moving, i didn't like being restrained. But I got through it and the lady was very understanding, I also had my friend with her bubs there so I got to have baby cuddles which I always love.

Thankyou ❤️.

How are you feeling today?

Okay, I am glad that your doctor is being proactive and was able to support you @MissGremlin.

Are they concerned about needing to go to the hospital for your physical or mental health on this occasion? Just wanting to make sure I am understanding. 🥰

Oh yes, those kind of X-Rays can be very anxiety-inducing, can't they? I am proud of you for getting through it.

And yay! That must have been so nice to have that kind of support and connection today. How is your friend? 🫶

@AuntGlow mental health. I'm trying to think how to word it by staying in the guidelines but I'm struggling to. But my doctor knows what's coming with the way my thoughts/plans are (I'm safe).

Yes they can be. Thankyou ❤️.

She is doing well, bubs was giving me lots of smiles today ☺️.

Hello @ENKELI sweet, that's unfortunately one thing I am very mindful of as I know there is someone on the forums that's related to me, they did try to cause problems a while ago for me. Though the forums being a public space posts can be read even without having an account too. I've gotten to the point where if people want to read things that I post and choose to get upset by it cos the truth hurts well that's on them, not me. At the end of the day I have a right to share my thoughts/feelings and things I've been through in my life.

As for what's been happening, well I lost my sh!t the other day resulting in me having one very sore hand which I'm currently waiting to get an xray done for. My doctors surgery stuffed up and as a result I lost my appointment that I needed, thankfully my doctor squeezed me in with a telehealth one this afternoon. Today I had a dentist appointment for a 3d xray which was a bit triggering as they have to restrain your head, but the lady was very understanding which helped. This week is a very busy one with something happening every day. My doctor also knows that a hospital trip is inevitable in the next few weeks cos of where things are currently sitting for me mental health wise (I'm safe).

That fatigue is so hard to manage, hope you're able to get some relief from it soon sweetheart.

Hope dinner has gone alright tonight.

Sending lots of love and hugs beautiful ❤️.

@MissGremlin beautiful, I think hospital might be the right place for you at the moment, you need taking care of.

I'm glad you got through your dental x-ray okay. My mum has a fear of things like that too, she nearly had a melt down having an MRI, especially when the machine broke down and she was stuck in it head first.

Having something on each day will keep you busy at least right? Or will it cause more stress?

Sorry I haven't been around darling heart, Sunday was a write off after spending the day with bestie. We spent several hours at Funnings and then when I got home I did some gardening and realised I got mulch instead of potting mix so I have to go back. I can use the mulch so it's not going to waste but I was miffed at my mistake.

Monday I tried to rest because I haven't slept well on top of being fatigued but no luck.

I feel like I'm in a permanent fog.

I also got to chat with a new cousin, well he's not new but we've only just met.

I'm mad at God for not answering my prayers, but I'm still praying. Praying for me is like breathing, it's not something I can't not do. Even when I'm upset with God.

I'm hoping you are asleep right now, getting some respite from the constant stress and drama of life.

Even when I'm not around I'm always thinking of you. But not in a weird stalker way. Lol, I love you my sweet Dreamy Gremlin 😍 💕 xoxo

@ENKELI sleep and me are not on talking terms 😂.

Unfortunately hospital will only happen once I've hit crisis point and my doctor and counsellor know it (I'm safe).

Oh I feel for your mum, MRI's are horrible and being stuck in the machine would have been scary. I had to have one a couple of years ago and I struggled to get through it, the stress of it actually triggered a seizure.

Unfortunately it's causing more stress and not having a chance to rest is taking a toll on my body. Partly why I'm still awake now cos I have a seizure coming. I'm tucked up in my bed and have Casper snuggling up next to me so hopefully sleep will come eventually.

It's completely ok sweet, I'm glad you got to catch up with your bestie and funnings is always fun 😂. Oh dear to getting mulch instead of putting mix but at least you can still find a use for it.

I'm sorry that you didn't have any luck getting some rest on Monday, that permanent brain fog is tough. Hoping you get some much needed rest soon and things start feeling clearer for you ❤️.

Your prayers, love and support are so very appreciated sweetheart, thankyou so much ❤️.

I'm always thinking of you too even when I don't have it in me to be on the forums but when I see your name pop up in my notifications it brings a smile to my face ☺️.

Love you beautiful, sending big hugs your way ❤️

@MissGremlin just wanted to stop by and give you a virtual hug 🫂

You and sleep need to get back on good terms, sleep needs to stop being so stubborn.

I'd give you my sleep in a heartbeat.

I'm signing off now beautiful and I hope you get some rest if not sleep 😴 xoxo 😘 💕

@ENKELI thankyou sweetheart ❤️.

I had just dozed off but I've woken up having a full on panic attack 😞 (I'm safe). Now to work on calming down enough so I can try to go back to sleep.

Hope you can get some sleep beautiful ❤️.

Morning @NightFury my sweet, checking in with you today ❤️