Battles

@NightFury i know alot of the team has changed since then but some of the senior practitioners are the same and that's what scares me the most cos they are the ones that caused the damage. I'm just hoping they can link me in with other services more than anything.

@NightFury hey there. Sorry to hear you're not doing well either. I too have had a headache all day and eye strain - need to get my eyes checked. Over the counter pain meds do nothing and my GP retired in January so I haven't been able to get prescription meds.

I really hope you begin to feel better and your headache goes away.

I don't usually buy into astrology but with a lunar eclipse last night I wonder if maybe that might be the cause of the headaches?
Mind you, you and Dreamy both sound like you have some heavy stuff on at the moment, do you mind if I put you on my prayer list? If so, let me know if there is anything specific you'd like me to pray for. I hope this doesn't offend you, and I certainly won't be offended if you say no 😊

@Shaz51 praying for your safety and those around you gorgeous. Hopefully it will die out before it hits the mainland xo

@ENKELI how's it going with the last unit sweet? Setting time aside each day would be good if you can ☺️.

I'll have to listen to some of his music. That's devastating about his son 😞. My oldest child attempted a couple of years ago now and it was so scary, it was even worse that I couldn't be there for them, that really broke me. Your faith is still strong sweetheart ❤️.

So the call today wasn't helpful as such, but she's coming out on Tuesday so that I can fill in paperwork. I haven't even done the initial assessment yet so won't know what (if anything) they can do for me. Just tagged you in another post a bit more about this service rather than having to repeat it. That's a shame that you didn't find it helpful and about the falling out, sometimes it takes time to find the right fit. I guess it helps to know it's there as an option should you decide to use it, I don't see it as being stubborn though, talking about things doesn't help everyone.

Golden retrievers are beautiful, from what I've seen they are just big, fluffy goofballs 😂. Haha oh your Nana knew exactly how to get your mum to take the silky terrier, love your mums response 😂. I remember having a border collie growing up but she had to be rehomed as she was going crazy, she just wanted to round things up so she ended up going to a lovely farm.

I've got myself into bed and I'm about to start a new diamond art. I have a migraine though and things do feel really heavy tonight. When I talked to the lady today I told her about the concert tomorrow night and how I feel like i don't deserve to go and that I'm not even excited for it. At the moment everything that's happening feels like i can't put any of it aside, like it all needs to be at the centre of attention which gets overwhelming. I don't mind the suggestions and i appreciate them, but if at anytime it gets too much I'll be sure to let you know. I try to not be negative all the time which is why I have my sock thread and post the quotes aswell. This space here is where I tend to let things out. I'm sorry about your friend, it sounds hard but sometimes i guess it's for the best, I've had to distance myself from people for the exact same reason throughout my life.

I'll be sure to give Casper big cuddles for you when he joins me on my bed, he's on the floor at the moment.

I love that quote!

I'm not offended @ENKELI feel free to add me to your prayer list. It's a beautiful thought and gesture, thank you. I don't know if I have anything specific, which probably doesn't help.

We are spreading my Nan and Grandad's ashes this coming Monday. My Nan passed away 10 years ago, my Grandad at the end of last year. Maybe you could pray for them? That they now be reunited and at peace?

I'm sorry to hear that you've had a headache too. They can get pretty horrible. I don't think mine has anything to do with the eclipse. It's more like...the impact of a lot of anxiety and tension and a bit emotional release last night.

@MissGremlin working dogs are not for suburbia that's for sure. I used to take Kelly my Border Collie for a walk for at least an hour every day and while I was walking I'd be throwing the ball for her to fetch, which she was very good at! Mum and I also used to take her down to the river to go swimming, which she loved. We'd sit with our takeaway chicken dinner and watch her try and bite the water as she swam.

I am going to try and set aside a specific time each day to do my study. Today I had to power through and I finished but I have been feeling fatigued and with a headache so I don't know how much I absorbed. I can get away with not absorbing the stuff I'm studying at the moment as it's all information I know. I think the course is geared for school leavers or year 10 students who don't want to do upper school or TAFE as it is pretty basic stuff. This weeks' work was "Organise personal work priorities" and of course anyone who has worked for 35 years like I have already knows most of the topic. We'll see how I go with the assessment!! I'm not sure what it has to do with Records Management & Information but to get to the good stuff I have to do the fluff first. I'm pleased I've stuck with it for over 3 months already, I haven't studied since I was in my 20's!

I did read your post about the phone call and how you're not sure it will be helpful. I shake my head at the state of mental health services in our country. I have my own thoughts and opinions about it that I won't share but I hope they start fixing the system sooner rather than later.

This is one of my favourite TobyMac songs - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1DjD2MWe1k

Also https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44l9PRI4c2M

The second one, Love Broke Thru, was the first song of his that I heard and it's a bit special to me. The lyrics sum up a bit of my own journey and the video is really powerful.

I was in a mental health hospital for 2 weeks after deliberately taking too much of my medication and I know what it did to my mum and I made a promise to never do it again. Tobys' son Truett was using illegal substances and I think anyone who has had to deal with an almost, accidental or deliberate excess of illegal stuff must feel so much pain.

Toby wrote a song about his son called 21 Years - I'll let you look that one up yourself in case you don't feel up to watching or listening to it given your own experience.

Okay, you deserve to go to the concert. Why should you have to suffer and not have anything good in life? I hope you go to the concert and enjoy it. It might give your brain some respite from everything that is going on for a little while too.
I hope your migraine goes away sweetheart, I have only ever had a migraine once and it was awful so I feel for you. Just take it easy tonight and try and rest.

@NightFury my sympathies, having their ashes spread together is a lovely idea. I think my maternal grandparents are buried together.

I will pray for eternal rest for them. And that your migraine leaves.

Be kind to yourself, you are the only you on this planet there is and you are special.

@ENKELI I'm going to come back to this post tomorrow to reply.

My head is pounding too much to try to reply and I'm about to try to get some sleep. I'm sorry sweetheart, this migraine is making me feel so nauseous and affecting my eyes.

I hope you can get a good sleep tonight sweet and I'll chat to you tomorrow. Night night, lots of love and hugs for you beautiful ❤️.

It's been an incredibly rough night full of very vivid nightmares and panic attacks. I'm so frustrated, I either can't sleep cos I'm not tired and having severe panic attacks or I'm exhausted but can't sleep cos I keep waking up having nightmares and panic attacks. I just can't win and I've had enough of it being like this.

Why am I like this, why does nothing work for me, why can't I get help, why can't I just be normal 😞.

I'm struggling with such intense thoughts and urges (yes i reached out to a crisis service), I can't stop seeing the things from the nightmares, my body is so sore cos of the tension from being in a constant a state of panic, my head is still pounding and I have tears running down my face. I just want to be able to sleep 😞.

I'm safe for now, just trying to make it through the night. I have Casper cuddled up next to me and I'm trying to calm down enough to try to sleep again. I feel so alone, so broken and defeated.

Thank you @ENKELI , @Cuddlebear 🥰