Battles

@NightFury I'll gladly have one with you when you get home from lawn bowls ☺️

@MissGremlin I am the same with the radio, TV and computer. The volume has to be an even number. I don't start thinking bad things will happen like I know some people do but it makes me uncomfortable and I have to get the volume on an even number to settle. Weird how our brains work, or in our case, mis-fire.

I understand that you would be teary, no sleep, high stress. You're barely holding it together honey.

I don't have the same concerns regarding my groceries being picked by someone else, for me it makes sure I don't overspend because despite going in with a list I will still buy stuff that catches my eye.

I think though I will actually go into Coles just to get out of the house though.

That plant is beautiful and if I ever see one I will be getting it. Bunnings sells other varieties of the Gaillardia but not your one which you probably already knew lol.

Gardening is about the only thing I am motivated to do. I go through phases where I'll do diamond paintings for days on end and then I lose interest and they'll sit there waiting to be completed.

Be kind to yourself sweetheart xoxo

I'll be home in about 15 minutes @MissGremlin if you're still up for it.

@NightFury definitely still up for it ☺️

Good evening, lovely. @MissGremlin

How are you feeling this week? 💛

I am so glad you and your counsellor have such a good relationship. Has she been able to provide any support since we last spoke?

I understand that shut down response... it's so, so hard when the nervous system knows a specific pathway so well that exploring another one feels near impossible.

Something I would recommend here is to keep reaching out and remind yourself that the feeling will pass. I have little reminders like this in my notes app. One says, "Hello, this is a reminder from your more grounded self: I PROMISE you won't feel the same way about this situation when you're more regulated. Please cry it out and self-soothe for a bit, let the emotion take its natural course, you won't feel this way forever - this is just information about what still needs healing." I wonder if something like this might help you? 🫶

Hello @AuntGlow, things have been so incredibly bad 😞. I'm honestly so scared with what's happening to me and I feel like I'm losing myself. (I'm safe)

My counsellor last messaged on Thursday, she is a good support but unfortunately other than checking in and words of encouragement there's not much she can do.

I have been trying to reach out but very much struggle to communicate in those moments. I am very lucky to have a couple of online friends to talk to who really stick by me when things get tough, we ride through the bad times together.

I like that idea but I'm not sure if I'd actually remember to read them. I brought myself a bright notebook today which I have no idea what to use it for but it's very easily visible, maybe I could use it to write things like this in?

How are you doing sweet?

I'm home @MissGremlin I'm going to have a ginger beer instead of a cuppa. I've had far too much caffeine today.

@NightFury I'm going to have an iced tea as I'm currently eating my dinner ☺️.

How did lawn bowls go sweet?

We lost @MissGremlin

But my day has been ridiculous. How has your day been?

@ENKELI yes that's the same for me, it's just irritating and makes me feel uncomfortable/anxious. Brains are funny little things 😂.

Going to start needing to rely on duct tape to hold myself together 😂.

Actually this made me giggle.

Can understand that, I'm usually pretty good with shopping and the only time I overspend is if things are on special when I stock up but then that saves money in the long run. Getting out of the house sounds like a good idea though ☺️.

Lol yes bunnings don't have that variety, I'm going to have to hunt down more seeds and grow it again. When is your trip to funnings with your bestie?

I go through phases with things aswell, like my colouring i haven't done for a while now but I've been enjoying the diamond art.

Sending love and hugs beautiful ❤️