Battles

Sorry it’s gotten so bad. @MissGremlin

Has anything we have been talking about triggered you at all?

It’s hard when our go-tos don’t help at all. I’m just sitting and watching tv. Struggling to keep up with our double conversations! 😂 It is keeping me distracted though as I have to concentrate!

The heat pack didn’t work!

@Captain24 no nothing has triggered it. It's just this time of night mostly that things crash down, the anxiety over thinking about sleep starts to set in and thoughts race through me.

Yes it's hard. I'm thinking about watching Buffy and Angel. We can bring it back to one conversation, cos I'm struggling to keep up with it too as much as it's a good distraction 😂.

That sucks that the heat pack didn't work, hopefully the doctor can help tomorrow with something to ease the pain.

I can imagine that that is hard @MissGremlin. The fear of actually trying to sleep.

One conversation is so much easier!

I hope your shows bring you some peace.

Jett just did a sausage coming on my doona cover. I need to change it but my back is way too sore! I’ve cleaned it up and put so spray on it so at least it doesn’t smell. Just feels gross

@Captain24 yes it's hard. It's knowing that if I sleep I'll wake up having panic attacks and have nightmares. But not sleeping is causing me to hallucinate and I'm hearing things which is very scary.

I agree one conversation is much more manageable.

I'm trying to focus on my show but my brain really isn't with it.

Oh no Jett, the joys of pets. I remember when Casper was little and he peed on my bed, I was so upset cos I didn't have any spare bedding so had to go and buy a new quilt and comforter which I didn't have the money for. But I couldn't wash the quilt in my machine as it's not big enough. Can understand that gross feeling even when it's been cleaned up and doesn't smell. Changing it tomorrow is ok though, you need to rest for tonight sweet.

That would be scary. @MissGremlin. Has that happened before?

I was watching tv but could focus either. So I’ve just climbed into bed. If I stop responding that just means I’ve fallen asleep. I did that the other night and woke up about an hour later with my phone still in my hand and a

message half typed!

Its not in the side I sleep on so that’s not so bad. But it will be added to my list tomorrow. I whole bedding change is just not what I needed especially with my back! I need to take it easy so I can drive on Tuesday and I want to sit on the floor for my appointment as if felt better last time!

Oh that’s a bugger about having to replace everything. I cleaned it up pretty quick so

im hoping it didn’t go through to the doona.

@Captain24 no it hasn't. The last medication I was on caused me to start seeing things and hearing voices but this is different to that.

I'm hoping you can get some sleep soon. I doze off sometimes while I'm on my phone lol.

No it's definitely not what you needed right now. Just take it slowly tomorrow while you do it. Maybe you'll wake up tomorrow and your back will feel better, well I'm hoping it does for you. I remember you saying about sitting on the floor and it definitely sounds comfortable and I love that your psych joins you there.

I'm glad you got to it quickly.

Is that something you can bring up with your GP? When do you see them next? @MissGremlin

Im hoping so. I’m not very tired though but sometimes I go from this to being asleep in a matter of moments or I could be like this for hours. I’m hoping for the first one! There is no sleeping in anymore as Pix has to eat at the right time!

I may wake up and it feel a lot better or I could wake up and struggle to get out of bed! I just need to wait and see.

I felt more connected on the floor. Sitting in the chair just feels awkward. She is pretty cool. She just took her shoes off and sat. She quite enjoyed the relaxed feel too. O feel

like I’m talking to a friend and struggle to not check in with how things are going for her!

@Captain24 it's still over a week until my appointment. I thought about trying to ring and get in to see him sooner but I don't want to be annoying either.

I'm hoping it's the first one too especially as you have to be up early for Pix.

I'm keeping everything crossed that you wake up tomorrow feeling better.

I reckon sitting on the floor feels more connecting. It's comfortable and feels safe.

I don’t think it’s annoying to get in sooner. I think you really need to before things escalate and things get taken

out of your control. @MissGremlin. It would be good if I could do that here. I’ve only got my appointment tomorrow because my psych sent an email. It’s about a 6 week wait of you can actually get an appointment.

I really hope it’s better, even a little bit. Just to be able to get out of a chair! I can’t even stand upright, I’m hunched over!

I think the floor is rounding in itself. I only sat in the floor last time as my shorts were wet from a wave at the beach. Bug it was so much better. The rug is really itchy though!

@Captain24 I'm going to hop off for the night sweet. Got alot going on here at the moment (I'm safe). I hope you can get some sleep soon and I'll chat to you tomorrow ❤️.