When did you start feeling in control with your life?

Can be a life long journey @Blackcloud

I did a bit of sailing and surfing back in the day. Lol

How are you going today

@Appleblossom ?

My day has been going good so far, better than I’ve felt about yesterday. Was able to write my summary for my research of two different artists I’ve chose + reflections of my drawings all done. For some reason before this, I was frustrated that I couldn’t do them at first because of how my brain usually works when it comes to doing any forms of writing. And I know that I’m gonna have the struggle for the upcoming image analysis assessment as well.. lol 🥲🥲 I don’t understand why my brain always has to work this way. It’s always worked this way for me since I was really young which makes it hard, but oh well. 🫠🫠

Hey @Blackcloud

I am glad your arts project unfolded well. Being involved in the arts can mean we lose ourselves in the activity.... And then maybe even find ourselves... For a little while at least!?

Sometimes it is just getting started.

I am alright but having an on my phone day which is not really typical of me.

I don't even know how my brain works. Had lots of diagnoses thrown at various family members. I am retired but try to stay active.

I am listening to my son playing piano at the moment in another room.

I can relate to lots of what you write... But as a little kid my life was pretty out of control... So I don't really know what normal is. I live in my head more than average but do have feelings! Lol

Thank you so much, everyone.
Hope everyone had a good day.

I really appreciate the support

There’s lots going on in this world right now, but

We’ll all float on okay x

Hi @Blackcloud

It sounds like your mother deeply values her connection with you and may be struggling to navigate your transition into independence. Making food for you could be her way of maintaining a sense of closeness and fulfilling her need to feel needed in your life.

The way you've described speaking to her rudely doesn't sound like an attempt to hurt or disrespect her, but rather a way of asserting your autonomy, the right to make your own choices and live on your own terms. That push-and -pull is a natural part of shifting family dynamics as children grow into adulthood.

Navigating a mother-daughter relationship during this transition can be challenging. Many experience similar struggles as they work toward a new kind of relationship, one based on mutual respect, understanding and shared milestones. Over time, this can lead to a deeper appreciation for each other and clearer boundaries that honor both your independence and your bond.

It has taken time for me to find this balance with my own mother, and even now we continue to adjust as life brings new changes. What I've found helpful is approaching each other with compassion and respect while communicating clearly about needs and boundaries. This lets both people feel valued while also allowing space for growth.

I truly wish you the best as you navigate this journey toward independence and a relationship with your mother that honors both of you.

Kindly Alisse

Hi @Kiki5

I just wanted to take a moment to acknowledge everything you've shared. Your words are full of deep self-awareness, and I can feel the weight of what you're carrying. It's ok to be in this space, to be seeking, to be feeling everythinf so intensely. You are not too much. You are not a mess. You are a human being trying to navigate something incredibly difficult, and that is not only valid but deeply understandable.

I hear you when you say you want a place where you can simply exist without judgment. You deserve that. And you don't need to apologise for being here, for sharing, for needing connection. Needing others, needing reassurance, needing space to process, those are all part of being human, not signs of failure or lack of control.

I really appreciate what you said about control and balance, and I think your'e right, so many of us struggle with it, and it's never a straight path. But seekling balance, seeking trust, seeing understanding, those are all meaningful steps, even when they feel tangled and messy.

Please kinow that you are seen, you are heard, and you are not alone in this. Sending you so much kindness and a gentle reminder that you are allowed to take up space just as you are.

Kindly Alisse

Oh thank you Alisse.

Your message is one of the kindest things I’ve ever read, and it’s really helped.

Past few weeks have been really tough. Part of that is not being understood, and trying to explain but not be a burden.

You have made me feel seen and understood and it’s ok to reach and when you need help. None of us are burdens, we are humans exactly as you said.

I have a good support system, but I haven’t wanted to lean on that too much. I think that’s a reflection of me feeling not that I can’t, but rather I don’t want to need it.
I know intellectually that’s ok and we all need that.

I believe I am for others; but hard to give to myself.

Your heartfelt message made me smile and has given comfort. I am not alone.

Many of us are having difficult times at the moment. Feeling seen and heard and connected to other humans is exactly what we need; and you made me feel that’s ok for me too.

Thank you for your comforting words. They’ve made such a difference. I appreciate you and everyone here.

I hope everyone has a restful weekend, and we’re all
Kind to ourselves, as you’ve been for me.

I think the ups and downs are normal, but we share it less due to stigma.
I will be ok and your message has helped me know that maybe it’s not control- it’s balance.

Kindest back to you and all here. [edited by moderator]

Hi @Kiki5

This is such a beautiful reflection and I'm deeply touched that my words could bring you even a little comfort.

You are absolutely not a burden, your feelings, your struggles, and your need for connection are all part of being human.

It's so understandable to hesitate in leaning on others, even when we know in our minds, that support is there for a reason.

Shame and stimga around our own mental health can also inhibit us from reaching out.

I love what you said about balance rather than control. Life isn't about perfect mastery over everything, it's about navigating the ebb and flow with self-compassion, knowing that needing support doesn't diminish our strength. It's actually a testament to it.

I hope you continue to allow yourself the same kindness and care that you so freely give to others. You are seen, you are valued, and you are never alone.

Wishing you a restful end of weekend, and sending warmth and gentleness your way.

Kindly Alisse

It sounds like your mother needs a lot of reassurance from you in order to feel in control of her own life. From my experience as a mother with an adult daughter with substance and mental health issues I've often felt that my life is attached to a runaway train. In order to regain control of my life I've often attempted to control hers. Of course that doesn't work. So I've since tried to detach my sense of wellbeing from being dependent on her wellbeing, which I can't control. I've trued to focus more on myself and not feel responsible for my daughter's life and happiness, just my own. When I can do that, then I feel that I'm much more balanced and content. It's not easy to maintain all the time, as I think many mothers are hard-wired to feel responsible for the happiness and wellbeing of their children. But we have to detach, for their sake and ours. With love of course.