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creative_writerSenior Contributor
Why can’t I pretend the pain isn’t real, maybe if I tell myself I’m okay and I don’t struggle with mental health I’ll be okay. Maybe if I tell myself that the traumatic memories aren’t real, then I can finally feel whole and less gross. Maybe I’ll just wake up from this dream soon and I’ll find peace within my mind when I do wake up. Maybe I’m okay, maybe there isn’t anything wrong with me
In response to: Don’t want to accept the pain
AuntGlowModerator
@creative_writerI hear you, thank you for sharing this with me. I am really glad to know that you have support lined up for this week, and seeing your psychiatrist earlier should be very helpful too. What would help you to make this call?
That sounds like a very nourishing trio, and as we touched on earlier, if those things help you to feel even 1% safer, then that is progress. 💖
In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain
AuntGlowModerator
@creative_writer I understand this. 💗
I would love to keep chatting, but I have to go for now. I will be back tomorrow, and I look forward to checking in then, okay? 🤗
In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain
creative_writerSenior Contributor
@AuntGlow I hope you were able to sleep well tonight. I’m feeling less agitated, but sort of down and exhausted today. I haven’t been up to much, I took a shower earlier today, watched some TV, and connected myself spiritually. I’ve also scanned new referrals for my psychologist and psychiatrist and emailed them, I was putting that off, I’m not even sure why. I am struggling with motivation today and haven’t picked up the phone for an earlier psychiatrist appointment, I hate admitting I need help. I’ll tell myself I don’t need another appointment and I’m okay. A part of me is in denial. I know SI isn’t a good sign, I have been getting thoughts regularly again. I’m safe for now
In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain
rav3nSenior Contributor
hey @creative_writer i'm so sorry that the overwhelm has been so strong lately. the shame spiral can automatically kick in when we do some not so healthy things to cope, but please know that it's okay and you deserve compassion. i'm so very glad you're here and it must've taken a lot of strength to stop and reach out instead. sending you lots of love 💗
is there something kind you can do for yourself tonight? you absolutely deserve it. are you seeing your psych any time soon?
In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain
creative_writerSenior Contributor
@rav3n I'm not even sure what I am supposed to tell my psych on Wednesday.
I am currently listening to music. I tried to distract myself by reading, but I can't seem to pay attention for long
In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain
rav3nSenior Contributor
so fair to feel unsure, it can be hard to speak about it and get the words out @creative_writer but i reckon, sharing it with your psych would also mean that she can support you better. perhaps she can help you make sense of the body flashbacks and the SI/SH? you deserve to be heard 💜
do you have a safety plan? and if you do, did you create it with your psych/is your psych aware of it?
reading can require a lot of brain power to focus, hey. hoping the music helps. sitting with you.
also - forgot to mention, i've added a content warning for your post - hope it's okay, let me know if you're not happy with it!
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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