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Something’s not right

Don’t want to accept the pain

Don’t want to accept the pain

Why can’t I pretend the pain isn’t real, maybe if I tell myself I’m okay and I don’t struggle with mental health I’ll be okay. Maybe if I tell myself that the traumatic memories aren’t real, then I can finally feel whole and less gross. Maybe I’ll just wake up from this dream soon and I’ll find peace within my mind when I do wake up. Maybe I’m okay, maybe there isn’t anything wrong with me

906 replies

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In response to: Don’t want to accept the pain

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

@Ru-bee I guess I also come from a culture where parents are respected, challenging them is frowned upon. Family is complicated, you can love them but sometimes trauma comes from the family even if it’s unintentional. Being overprotective towards kids can feel a bit controlling for kids. Another thing that bothers me, maybe it’s not my place to say. Children are expected to apologise when they do something wrong, but parents don’t have that obligation and will likely not apologise as often

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

I’m in physical pain from migraine but my body can’t tolerate pain meds 🤕. It’s been triggered by bipolar and lack of sleep

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

I am having body flashbacks but feel unfazed. Am I too disconnected to care?

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Hey @creative_writer it sounds like this lack of reaction in itself is a bit unsettling?

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

@Ru-bee it’s a strange reaction. Shouldn’t I be hating the experience rather than feeling indifferent?

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Maybe it is a form of self protection @creative_writer?

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

@Ru-bee I believe I’ve had times where I denied having body flashbacks, even though I was. I am not currently denying them, my mind is probably still trying to protect me. I guess maybe feeling unfazed makes it seem like I don’t mind having the body flashback, but I know I’m just too exhausted right now to go into fight and flight mode

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

I don’t know if it’s a trauma response. I feel like the older I get, the harder it is to connect with people, I say to myself I’m better off alone. When I’m struggling, it’s even hard to pick up the phone to a helpline or even chat online to a helpline. I just don’t relate to people and often feel misunderstood. I’m better off feeling lonely from being alone than feeling lonely when surrounded by people. Ending up alone is hardly the worst thing. Besides I’m safer alone

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

If only I could be understood by my family

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Hugs @creative_writer

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