Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Something’s not right

Don’t want to accept the pain

creative_writerSenior Contributor05 Feb 2025, 10:09 pm AEDT

Don’t want to accept the pain

Why can’t I pretend the pain isn’t real, maybe if I tell myself I’m okay and I don’t struggle with mental health I’ll be okay. Maybe if I tell myself that the traumatic memories aren’t real, then I can finally feel whole and less gross. Maybe I’ll just wake up from this dream soon and I’ll find peace within my mind when I do wake up. Maybe I’m okay, maybe there isn’t anything wrong with me

906 replies

111 - 120 of 906

1...11 12 13...91

In response to: Don’t want to accept the pain

JynxModerator13 Feb 2025, 7:17 pm AEDT

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Aye, I think this is why parts work has had such appeal for me @creative_writer - to help me build up my skills with internal dialogue, so I can better understand when I am experiencing internal conflict between my adult mind and the restless parts that are throwing spanners in me gears. That ongoing tension between my value system and my body memories I think it is. Maybe that's part of it for you too? Like that there's parts of you that are still holding onto those thoughts, holding onto that shame. It would be for a reason too - holding onto shame is, in my experience, a continued effort at finding ways to belong. Just... not a very helpful one, most of the time!! Cos we live in a society pretty much steeped in shame unfortunately.

Can only do what we can do!! And like time blindness might be obscuring from you the fact that you just finished uni and still may need more time to recover before you're able to be ticking allll the boxes you wanna tick each day!

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

creative_writerSenior Contributor13 Feb 2025, 7:40 pm AEDT

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

@Jynx it’s one of the reasons why u chose the psych, she does IFS. I also noted on my referral letter that my GP mentioned that I’m having elevated anxiety, maybe the elevated anxiety is obvious some health professionals. I haven’t discussed my mental health concerns in great depth with him, but maybe I do seem a bit fidgety. To be fair I’ve been having so many body flashbacks, I probably seemed a bit off during the appointment. I didn’t tell him about body flashbacks though. He probably knows there is stuff I’m not saying.

Shame is at the core of so many issues. I have never ever felt like I truly belonged anywhere, my brain was always too ND. I was very socially awkward as a kid and didn’t know how to respond. I am still socially awkward but I had to teach myself social skills.

I underestimate and overestimate time. My brain probably doesn’t see time like NT. I also struggle with object permanency to some extent

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

JynxModerator13 Feb 2025, 8:00 pm AEDT

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

@creative_writer oh much gladness about finding an IFS therapist!! Dope 😎

Aye, I know the feeling. I think it's why so many of us with ASD often feel like 'aliens' - cos we struggle to figure out how to fit in when we don't have any of the codes or rules!!

Oh yeah the object permanence struggles is such a MOOD lol like how is it that at least once a day I will put my phone down somewhere 'odd' and have to spend like 10 minutes wandering room to room tryna figure out where it went!

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

creative_writerSenior Contributor13 Feb 2025, 8:14 pm AEDT

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

@Jynx IFS is not common enough in my opinion. We need different therapy approaches to cater for client needs.

A lot of us have been shamed while growing up. You can learn social rules, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not natural for us. I became observant and analytical of others just to protect myself. It is probably a form of hypervilgiance. I spend a lot of time trying to analyse other people’s behaviour, I sort of ended up developing the special interest of people watching as I got older.

I lose things all the time, and my mum has the magical ability of finding them 🤣. I have a few myki cards too because I have had times when I realised I left my card at home. I have lost cards before. I think I broke one too

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

JynxModerator13 Feb 2025, 8:32 pm AEDT

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

@creative_writer yeah 100%, it's so irritating that policy often takes decades to catch up to research and academia. Not to mention how 'set in their ways' people can get, therapists included.

Totally!! I've been kinda coming to terms with the fact that I might have dyspraxia - which means going back and re-lensing my whole life all over again to notice and grieve the pain I never allowed myself to feel... pain from being shamed for my inability or struggles in doing basic stuff. ND sanctuary... where are ya....

OMG the mykis!! Hahaha and how many times I've replaced stuff cos I 'lost it' (it was under the pile of clothes the whole time).... would lose my head if it weren't screwed on!

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

creative_writerSenior Contributor13 Feb 2025, 8:44 pm AEDT

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

@Jynx it’s important not to get stuck in “one size fits all”. I once had a therapist who took that approach, it was incredibly unhelpful.

Growing up ND is difficult in a NT world. I didn’t perform all that well when I was in primary school. I taught myself to study as I got older, but it was still hard and it still is to this day. I’ve found ways to make it easier, but it doesn’t take away the difficulties. I tend to turn to my good old matcha and saffron. Though I can’t overdo caffeine without wrecking my mood and making my concentration worse, I keep my coffee intake low. Bipolar also wrecks with concentration, particularly in mixed states. My brain is so prone to the mixed states, more so than the pure hypomania.

I’ve lost things and then later found them. Sometimes you have to replace something just to find the old item. The other day I thought I had to buy new sunglasses because mine vanished. Then I went home and found them among my stuff

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

creative_writerSenior Contributor14 Feb 2025, 12:46 pm AEDT

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

I feel like I’m suffocating

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

rav3nSenior Contributor14 Feb 2025, 12:51 pm AEDT

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

hey @creative_writer sorry to hear you feel that way, is there anything that can help you feel lighter? sitting with you 💜

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

creative_writerSenior Contributor14 Feb 2025, 1:46 pm AEDT

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

@rav3n I spoke to 1800 respect. I feel a bit better after that, I will probably have to take it easy. My body doesn’t feel normal yet and I’m still having flashbacks

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

rav3nSenior Contributor14 Feb 2025, 2:22 pm AEDT

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

@creative_writer i know reaching out isn't easy, and i'm really happy to hear you gave 1800 respect a call.

taking it easy sounds like a good call. what are you planning to do tonight/this weekend to look after yourself?

111 - 120 of 906

1...11 12 13...91

SANE Forums is published by SANE with funding from the Australian Government Department of Health.

SANE Forums does not provide crisis support.
If you need immediate assistance, please see available crisis services.

Learn more about SANE and SANE services at sane.org

Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.