SC SH thoughts

It was hopeless Steamed Toast
Not going back to psychologist again,and have to go back to job provider.I think I'm going to end up losing benefits because of my state of mind.Im not in a good place.Hope things get better for you Flower, it's so hard when you feel like you have no control over your mind,or the negative way you are feeling.

Hi @Former-Member

that sounds really really hard. You don't need to share this, but do I understand correctly that you have not been working for a while and they have cut your benefits and now you need to go through the job seeking program (sorry I don't know any of the correct terminology here)?

Can you ask for help to prepare you for interviews? And teach you what you need to share and what you don't need to share with a future employer? How you can explain gaps in your CV? Are there agencies out there that specialise in that?

I am sorry you felt so bad and I hope you had some rest last night and feel a little better.

Take good care of yourself!

No they haven't cut my benefits Flower but I don't want their "help" so I will lose the benefits for non compliance.My depression,I have done everything to get a job,and in my head I have a strong need to "feel safe",the lack of control causes high anxiety,which makes me of no good to anyone.I don't believe they can do nothing except put pressure on me and that is what worries me...If I can handle it.I went to get a medical certificate the other day and Centrelink will no longer accept it. Where I live there aren't many jobs to apply for and what there is I have done eg: failed the second fitness test at one main employer due to medical reasons.In the time I have been on medical certificate I was hoping to get a job... wasnt successful.Frankly Flower,I'm not there,my mind isn't there,and I have no tolerance for these job providers that I have been to before who do nothing but humiliate people.I have been considering starting my own housecleaning business but know someone who didn't get much work out of it.Still considering, it's the only way I can try to get out of being controlled by the government crap which isn't help.I have to want to do it, that's what I know.As I said when I walked in the job providers last week I didn't know who I was,it triggered my anxiety and I have a illusion of having a "g**",to my head which brings on my paranoia.I don't want to put myself through that...Nothing is worth it.

Hi @Li,

I just read your post this morning and wanted to check in and see how you were doing. It sounds like your feeling pretty stuck and hopeless about this job situation. I know it’s surely not much consolation to say that many people find it very hard to find (and keep!) a steady job – but it’s true. It can be really demoralising to be out of work and be trying to get back in the fold, putting yourself out there, only to be unsuccessful and left wondering “what’s wrong with me?” - and it surely doesn’t help matters when you’re already feeling depressed!

In my humble opinion, there’s no process more effective at stripping your sense of self-worth bare (even for the most well-adjusted!), than trying to condense yourself down to a few A4 pages for employers, HR managers, job providers, recruitment agencies (the list goes on…) to scrutinse in fine detail, and decide if you’re “good enough”. Of course, this is just my opinion, and perhaps some find the task of finding work validating and invigorating, as it affirms to them that they do have skills and knowledge that are valuable etc., But personally, I think most of this time it’s just an awful muddle of trying to justify that you're worth the air you're breathing. Am I too pessimistic? Perhaps? But in any case, feeling worn down by this process is likely to be completely normal – and it’s great that you’ve got the wherewithal to be thinking about starting your own business. If no one is going to give you a job – just make one for yourself!

Hope today gets better!

supernova.