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Something’s not right

SC SH thoughts

SC SH thoughts

Every morning I leave home and wonder if I have the strength to go through another day.

I've made it so far, surely I can make it again?

Will it ever get easier, more predictable or will I be able to accept myself as I am?

69 replies

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In response to: SC SH thoughts

Re: SC SH thoughts

Thanks for your thoughts supernova
I have no enthusiasm or energy for job providers I have a tiredness of life which is overwhelming me.I have the need for the past year to "feel safe", because of my thoughts,which aren't great.Im beyond giving a stuff,as for my own business I have little confidence but will have to consider it to save my life,which is a everyday thing for me.I am worried there is any work in it as I'm in a small town I have been cleaning one house for two months.I left a job after 20 years 4 years ago due to bullying etc,every interview I go to I can sense the b***** environment.My references are old and if the idiots want me to volunteer I'm not interested.I believe you have to want to do things yourself.I don't believe it will help me in getting a job.I know others have different opinions and if it works for you fine.If I have no control or self determination, life's not worth it.Being in my position as, well I am fed up with professionals and others who love to sit there and tell me their words of f**** wisdom. Yes I do feel trapped and hopeless.I get the "there's only one way out"thoughts.

In response to: SC SH thoughts

Re: SC SH thoughts

Not many businesses around here Steamed Toast, yeh getting enough customer base is my concern.I used to never miss a day's work it's the failure to find a suitable job ,having the invasion of privacy for nothing by these job providers who don't actually do anything to provide a job and there aren't many to choose from where I live.Thanks

In response to: SC SH thoughts

Re: SC SH thoughts

Today I feel beaten.

I want to remember that memories thoughts and feelings cannot hurt me in the here and now.

I want to remember that I have a choice.

I want to remember that I am a survivor and a fighter and I am brave.

I want to remember that I can get a new job if they get rid of me.

But most of all I want to remember that I have a beautiful family and friends.

But today I feel beaten and tired.

In response to: Re: SC SH thoughts

Re: SC SH thoughts

hugs @Former-Member
here listening,
lj

In response to: SC SH thoughts

Re: SC SH thoughts

thanks @Former-Member

Haven't eaten yet, doesn't help.

I'm a survivor. Just have to keep remembering that.

In response to: Re: SC SH thoughts

Re: SC SH thoughts

I have a feeling you are beautiful too. @Former-Member as well as your friends and family.

In response to: Re: SC SH thoughts

Re: SC SH thoughts

Big Bear Hugzzzzz all round, especially @Teej, aand @Flower

Life is difficult but not impossible! Take it easy xox

In response to: SC SH thoughts

Re: SC SH thoughts

Dear moderator, please delete if inappropriate.

Hello All,

I am sorry to start this subject once again.

Over the last couple of weeks I have been looking at my scars in a new light - like battle scars, reminders that I have managed so far and also I am seeing my external scars as if I am trying to show my internal scars. I feel this is such a huge gap to talk about. Does anyone feel this way? I initially SH to break free of the downwards spiral, now I've started thinking more creatively - is that good or dangerous? My psych and therapist don't really want to discuss it in this way, they make me feel like it is bad to SH. I don't think I am a bad person.

In response to: Re: SC SH thoughts

Re: SC SH thoughts

I can't comment Flower because you will have to explain more exactly what you are saying.I won't take antidepressants because to me they only gave me "false hope"and the change I did in my life whilst on them actually destroyed me.My psychologist doesn't listen to this and I now longer care what they think.Is this a irrational thought? What do you think of what you are saying?.What do you think of your thoughts,that's the main thing.

In response to: SC SH thoughts

Re: SC SH thoughts

@Former-Member. I have no experience of SH - so cannot help with that aspect.
I imagine it must be so frustrating that your therapists don't want to participate in talking about your way of seeing your SH. I can only assume that is because they are fearful that your SH may escalate and you may start taking more risks.
I do not believe you are a bad person in any way.
You are dealing with your MI feelings how you know how to.
I hope others may be able to offer their experiences with SH.
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