trying New Behaviours

@Former-Member

Good approach.

When I first joined forum I kept to the boundary between Carer and Lived Experience.

Then I developed a Boundaries thread ... and then the Not Sure thread ... they were all threads about my personal struggles.

I also tried to speak about respectful posting ... ie respecting intention of original posting .. if taking convo off track .. at least bringing it back to OP. and starting own thread if desired. Took a few jeers about that hee hee.. but then eventually I think the mods worked out that on other big success forums it was the way to go ... if they did not want quieter voices dropping out. I have seen how the quieter voices drop out in real life ... so I did care about that. I let it go .. yeah another joke hee hee .. but the jokers can get so defensive ..

I have been waiting a long time to feel accepted ... did not mean to stress you .. when I said the forum is last port of call ... you are appreciative and dont take people for granted on the forum ... a general attitude ... glad post gave you something clear to think about ..

I really like the idea that a therapist can apologise to me ... tomorrow I have a session with RC therapist .. but am thinking she is not a stayer .. tho I was hopeful ..

.. and hoping this new psychiatrist will work with me .. on a psychodynamic level .. and not just push drugs .. we'll see .. but each time ... there is a pass ... I absorb the double stress of more rejection and not real help.

when I joined the forum nearly 2 years ago, I had given up on therapists and not had sessions for a few years. .. and had come off meds .. through the forum I did connect with some help ... but honestly ... in the CarerVic organisation ... the changeover in staff is so rapid .. it feels almost like a joke .. so i talk about the instability of the mental health system .. yeah I may have a few loose marbles ... but fairs fair ... so do they... and no .. not everything connects up properly .. or is clear communication ...hmmm.

I am glad you have more tools to approach your own situation rather than be numbed and pinned down and burdened by a dx.

Hi @Appleblossom, I'd been wondering whether to see Lion so I think you'd clarified for me that it's one I should see at home rather than at the movies. Easier to seek refuge when it gets too confronting.

Creating a distress scale would be an interesting process. Particularly if it's connected to triggers and soothing strategies. So you'd end up with a sort of sliding-scale of situations to be wary of, potential reactions and ways to stabilise again.

I've not worked through that specifically with a client before so I'm interested to hear how it goes if you attempt it. I would imagine that it would be best to let it evolve slowly. I always think that term 'living document' is a bit pretentious but that's essentially what it would be - something that changes over time and needs to be re-visited and edited. Keep us posted if you go ahead.

I hope things improve with your Therapist. I think reading through the Forums should be required training for Psychs and other mental health professionals. It's a great reminder to view your actions through the eyes of clients. I've certainly learned a lot and rued some of my previous practices since being on here!

Thanks @Change123

A big part of the new behaviour is that it was a simple situaiton. I was triggered. It was uncomfortable. I could leave .. and did

Often on the forum have been conversations about when to stay & when to go. Sometimes things are very complicated and we might endure discomfort because overall it seems the right thing to do.

Thank you @Former-Member

I had worked out a personal rating approach years ago when I had come off antidepressants. I chose 4 parameters and did a simple 1-10 and used it to decide when to lower doses etc

I had a reasonable session with her today. Maybe she has been putting it that way in thinking about documentation and bureacracy, but not actually meaning to finish up with me. We might do some ACT.

I will look up "living document."

Regarding watching the movie. I had a wonderful chat with my brother about it, He had seen it the day before and he had brought up my story as well as his own story with his old school mate who had acoompanied him. Then last night when he phoned, he immediately understood why I was deeply triggered. It was important to me that he remembered key points like I was 6 about the same age as boy in story. We also spoke about it from my bro's point of view .. he responded differently to aspects of the foster experience. His mate knew his old foster mum and me ...

There was a real sense that he were able to process it in real time... I did not feel pressured and it was good not having to do catch up or tell old stories in order to see each other in context.