trying New Behaviours

Thanks for back & forward and clarification. @Former-Member

That has not ever been a given in my life.

I think most people have just dumped on me and moved on.

I was not referring to you at all when I mentioned being ignored or making digs.

I see what you mean about being philosophical. That is supposed to be the desirable adult goal.

Learning to assess level of triggering .. no tears .. just philosophical in that regard .. just bodily sensation and general agitation & overwhelm.

And thanks for clarifying how you are learning about your levels of distress. It might help me better next time to help you too. 💜🤗

I'll drink to a communications revolution @Former-Member

I am upset that the police commissioner in Melbourne .. called the homeless camp in Flinders St .."disgusting" ... it just seems unecessarily judgemental. He could have cleaned the situation up without resorting to such insults ...

I am glad I befriended the Martin Place people last month .. but knew that Flinders St would attract more negativity cos it is just too small an area ...

I put a lot of effort when I first joined forum ..into thanking therapists and saying that therapy saved my life .. but no .. not had anyone .. who could really talk through my stuff properly with me .. in anything like ... REAL TIME .. just too much to handle .. I am also sick of being treated in a curious & voyeuristic fashion ... while nice therapists are interested and then given the flick when they are bored ... but it has happened a bit ...which is why I am also getting more & more anxious... and a bit bigoted against while caucasion females .. this forum is my last port of call ... I am a sick of getting the nice girl middle class flick .. which is what I told the lawyer lady who nudged me out of choir ... before my jury comes down .. I have been trying to relate to other females all my life ...

There isnt help if its not helping.

Thanks for caring and choosing to respond. @Former-Member You do get involved when many cant be bothered.

Thanks @BlueBay

It is a heart rending story and probably well told, but think I would have preferred to see United Kingdom.

@Former-Member and @Former-Member

Do you think it worth me developing my own "triggered" scale?

Length of time in tears .. degree ... of response .. full bodily engagement with tears ... no tears ... tingles ... the tingles one can be problemtic to read ... etc etc .. any ideas how it could be refined???

Have decided to count the hours til I feel well again .. if I can put a fine line on it.

I am still struck the way @Mazarita said I was always triggering myself.

Glad I was in touch with the news today as my son was going into Flinders St and I could give him a heads up about the extra police action ... so he didnt get paranoid .. I know thats what happened with my father .. so i try and put in my own interventions.... or preparations.

Hi @Appleblossom,

i had wanted to respond to your last post too as it really struck me. I had just driven home and had a sleep as I was totally wrecked. You should know you helped to get me home. I was starting to get into all shades of messy by myself.

Im really glad you wrote honestly about your experiences with therapists. I can see how that would happen. Even my therapist who I adore sometimes says things in passing that shock me. I have had to learn she is human too. I think that you need someone who is prepared to get down and dirty and do messy with you @Appleblossom. In my opinion you need someone prepared to step into battle with you and for you. And I think because your stuff is so complex someone who doesn't know it all but is happy to learn with you and make mistakes. For me the thing that has meant the most and resonated Is when my psychologist and now therapist have apologised or admitted we were on the wrong path or that they had made a mistake with me.

I haven't experienced it but I think I can picture much better now what you mean by 'nice' women. I feel really sad that you've had those experiences, that no one has stuck with you through the long haul through it all.

As for working out a distress scale I think it's really helpful. I kind of have mine worked out now. For me it's helped to have my 'triggers' worked out well too. Mine are really simple. I understand what causes me to act impulsively or build up to something. I think for you it would help to write the things here if you were comfortable (not sure where here) that help us to work out where you are at and just as importantly what helps you when you are feeling like that. Maybe an identifying place to reach out too like I have my struggle thread. I try to avoid it at all other times. Just writing on there is me beginning to cry out for help. Sometimes it's a catch 22 for me being on there because I don't know what I need to help but I guess just being there means I could be doing better and any help is appreciated. And I think you identifying all your levels of distress and physical and emotional responses you go through will help you to manage you better too. It seems to have a bit for me.

Let me know what you think. 💜🤗

Thanks @Pepsimax. Feels like I'm drowning in it all sometimes so I guess I do have interesting ways, not always helpful but I try.

@Appleblossom

I think Im breaking my boundary for good reason.

I'm so sorry you have felt this way and I too understand. When you are in a crisis state of mind (being triggered) you just want anything in hurry to make you feel better and often thats acknolwedgement from others who understand how much it can hurt. I know I have been there plenty of times. As you saw this morning with rage post I was totally triggered even though there was nothing in it (miscommunication) its so easy in emails and posts as other have said - you dont see the body language but even then it can be hard.

I hope you are feeling somewhat better, I havent seen that movie and by the sounds of it maybe I wont. I try to watch science fiction and comedies to help me escape but I applaud you for trying something completely different on your own. I dont think I have ever been to a cinema on my own. I hope you feel proud within yourself to accomplish this even though it triggered you.

Take care and everyone else too!