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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor25 Nov 2024, 10:10 pm AEDT

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

JynxModerator05 Apr 2025, 4:57 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@avant-garde

A powerful memory hun.

How are you? Wanna talk about it?

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor05 Apr 2025, 5:00 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@Jynx the last 18 hours have been very full on and exhausting and overwhelming...

*clutches my knees and rocks back and forth in the corner*

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator05 Apr 2025, 5:15 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@avant-garde *scoops you into gentle hug*

Discuss, distract? Whatever you need hun I'm here.

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor05 Apr 2025, 5:19 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@Jynx

Currently dressing blister wounds, I volunteered at a half marathon this morning

It would be easier if this wasn't so triggering

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator05 Apr 2025, 5:31 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@avant-garde Oh ouch!! A rewarding experience? More tiring mayhaps....

I bet hun, maybe we keep it light for now?

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor05 Apr 2025, 5:33 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@Jynx yes please

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator05 Apr 2025, 5:44 pm AEDT

Re: Running

Of course dear one, with much hugs and softness 😌

Well it's iced coffee o'clock for me over here @avant-garde. I think I will go for a walk during my break tonight. The sun has been nice today.

Do you have a good sunset watching spot?

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor05 Apr 2025, 5:48 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@Jynx

I may still go another coffee, I also don't want to move though

go go gadget arm... oh wait I'm not a robot

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor05 Apr 2025, 6:35 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@Jynx

There was a guy (and his wife) I stayed with while I was homeless... he was... he was condescending and authoritarian... there was a word he used when I was behaving not as he would have liked... 'poise'... this word very quickly turned into a trigger word for me... I walked on eggshells and avoided...

I knew he was a volunteer today and I didn't sleep last night as a result... I was terrified...

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator05 Apr 2025, 6:45 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@avant-garde weaponised politeness is my immediate thought. He was there I'm guessing?

No need to share details unless you think it would be helpful to do so, get it off chest and all that.

Crawling into the plushie village, wanna come sit?

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

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