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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

sounds good! tag me whenever ya ready @avant-garde

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@rav3n

I am home feeling very overwhelmed

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde you got your plushies around to squeeze? wanna talk about what's been making you feel overwhelmed? (totally okay if you wanna chat about something else too)

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@rav3n it's all tangled in my head... need to untangle it.

  • one of the supermarkets I visit, a guy from my childhood works there, he's harmless, we were friends. I don't purposefully go there to see him because it unsettles me, but he hasn't mentioned anything, it's just part of my routine.
  • I went to the op shop to settle and upon paying the guy dropped the jewellery box on the glass counter, chipped it and startled me quite badly due to already being unsettled.
  • Drivers on a Friday night are the worst, more road rage and tailgaters and just overall nightmares.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

apologies for the late replies!! @avant-garde i can see how these events slowly one-uped the other. suddenly dropping things sometimes unsettles me too, and gosh i hear ya with Friday drivers, everyone just loses their patience!!

how are you holding up now that your home? were able to do something nice for yourself to unwind? also just outta curiosity, do you have a dashcam for your car?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@rav3n home is good, I like home.

I own one but haven't plugged it in, I don't exactly know how it works. Does it film the car behind or in front?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde you reckon home is your fav/cosiest spot ever?

i don't have one but my dad does, he's got a front and rear one - so like the main camera is at the front (and this is the part of the dash cam where you can watch the video), and then there's a tiny camera attached at the back for the rear.

does yours have just one camera? maybe it's just a front one?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@rav3n

Mine isn't built in, you attach it to the inside and it plugs into the cigarette lighter thing

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

ahhh yep i think i'm gonna have to get one of those too @avant-garde idk about you, but too many wires around my car annoys me hehe hopefully it doesn't get in your way while you drive!!

also i gotta head off, night!! see ya next week 💙

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Breathe, breathe, breathe

Content/trigger warning
I was 7 or 8 and one of the older ones said "you don't have to be like me"

@Jynx

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