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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde!!

Hello darlin 😊

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx you seem happy to "see" me

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde logging in and saying hi to all the wonderful peeps here is one of the best parts of my day! Course I'm happy to 'see' you hehe 😊

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

*curls up in the sensory room*

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde I'll keep the lights down low. Hot chocolate is on the stove.

*bundles you into burrito of blankets and hugs*

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

How are you?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde nifty, thrifty, and a lil bit shifty!!

Lol but mainly tired, got about 3.5 hours sleep last night, woopsie.

Been a difficult day for you darlin? Imagine you're kinda just floating along right now ay.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

This whole week is difficult, I just, it's painful and I'm isolating more because I don't trust anyone to listen without judgement

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde aye and why would you when your track record thus far has demonstrated otherwise? I think not being heard, accepted, and understood, is one of the most painful experiences. So to have that stemming from trying to talk about another painful experience is like... oof that's hard.

Would typing it out provide some relief you reckon?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

It's just so hard @Jynx

I have all this grief and I feel like I'm not allowed to feel it that I need to be happy be content and that these emotions are not how you get there

Just do this and you'll be happy

Stop dwelling on the past and you'll be more content

You choose to be this way, choose happy instead...

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