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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde

It sounds like she's someone to trust. She certainly seems to have a lot of experience and passion for this.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Sounds like the case manager has built up a sense of trust @avant-garde

I would go with that, she showed concern about your big meeting with the police.

I maybe have more problems with trust, as I have put off my Redress again. Just had too much on.

Gently Bently with you

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Hey @Appleblossom @avant-garde @MJG017,

Thought I'd pop in to say "Boo!"

How are you all?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Actually, Redress schemes seem quite a topic on the forums. I wonder if we need to dedicate a space for it? @avant-garde @MJG017 @Appleblossom

I personally don't know much about them at all. But I know there are different ones.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Hi @tyme, i'm okay... a bit tired. a 4.30am bed time and 9.30am wake up will do that i guess. 😂 How is everything with you?

In response to: Running

Re: Running

Hey @avant-garde , I just want to make space for you to talk about what you are currently going through (if you would like). No pressure at all. I'm mindful that a lot has been going on for you in terms of things you are experiencing and the interviews etc.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme my head got all conflicted... I'm all for talking about redress and making a space for them... and this may come across as really selfish... because I do care about others and how they are doing... but I felt like I lost my space to talk about what I'm going through when you jumped in and asked about others and tagged them... when there are so many chat type threads... even when starting this thread I wasn't sure whether to put it here or in "our stories"... so yes my head got confused...

even now when you said you'd give me space to talk about what I'm going through I got defensive...

I know it's a forum and interaction is encouraged but I'm being brave enough to be honest about how it made me feel...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Hey @avant-garde ,

That's totally okay. Thank you for being honest.

I was actually responding to previous posts from members. Since the beginning of this week, I've only just got to read my 100+ notifications, so hence my responses may seemed out of place.

Anyway, that's totally okay. I'll hop off.

Sorry if I caused any confusion.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme I'm not normally that forward but my social worker is proud that I'm verbally advocating for myself and preventing confusion because that's overwhelming and makes me cry

@rav3n how are you going?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Totally okay. Thanks for sharing @avant-garde

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