FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

3,421 - 3,430 of 3,558

In response to: Running

Re: Running

Hello lovely, @avant-garde.

I just wanted to stop by and let you know that I truly hear how hard this would have been. It's so incredibly challenging to experience or embrace another person's joy when it reminds us of our pain.

How did it feel to send through that message? 💛

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@AuntGlow

I feel guilty that I can't

I feel like I'm too much trouble to be worth it

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Would you be able to let me know exactly what you're referring to here? Just so I know I am understanding you properly. @avant-garde 💛💛

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@AuntGlow

That it's hard to be truly excited for him and that I bother him too much, that I'm too much of a hassle and don't know why he puts up with me

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@MissGremlin

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde awww look at her, she looks so nice and fluffy to cuddle 😍

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@MissGremlin

I think she's teaching me how to stop and be still

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde those eyes 😍. Sometimes it's good to just stop and be still ❤️. Casper lays across me when I'm having a hard time calming down, his weight helps to keep me grounded.

In response to: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde I think the desire to jump right to the end/more advanced stuff with recovery is pretty common, if not universal... 😅

Interesting connection to make, it sounds like you're really taking that control back!! How's it all been going for you hun?

3,421 - 3,430 of 3,558