Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor25 Nov 2024, 10:10 pm AEDT

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

3,191 - 3,200 of 3,558

1...319 320 321...356

In response to: Running

JynxModerator09 Jan 2026, 8:26 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@avant-garde I am working on sorting things for you both. Appreciate your patience hun 💜

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor09 Jan 2026, 8:28 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@Jynx

I had a seizure... 40 minutes...

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator09 Jan 2026, 8:49 pm AEDT

Re: Running

So rough @avant-garde - do you need medical attention or anything? What helps you soothe after a seizure?

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor09 Jan 2026, 8:53 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@Jynx

No medical attention necessary, most don't have a clue about non-epileptic seizures and tell me I'm faking it and wasting their time.

I knew as soon as I started settling that it would hit, I just wish I didn't feel so alone after them

In response to: Re: Running

MissGremlinSenior Contributor09 Jan 2026, 9:07 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@avant-garde my sweet, I'm sorry you had a seizure. I know how horrible it is to feel alone after seizures. If you ever feel one coming you are welcome to tag me and I'll sit with you through it and as soon as you are able to post again I'll be right here with you ❤️.

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor09 Jan 2026, 9:12 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@MissGremlin

I knew staying out there would negatively impact my mental health...

Everything pointed me back to the memories of my childhood, of being out there every 2 years... of everything they did and everything I learned...

In response to: Re: Running

MissGremlinSenior Contributor09 Jan 2026, 9:15 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@avant-garde i hear you sweet. I'm sorry it brought back so many memories. Just know that you are safe now sweetheart and we are here with you ❤️.

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor09 Jan 2026, 9:17 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@MissGremlin

I typically like museums but the one I went to yesterday was tied to so many memories

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator09 Jan 2026, 9:20 pm AEDT

Re: Running

Aww @MissGremlin you're such a sweetheart!

@avant-garde legit hun, I can imagine it's so so exhausting, and then would leave you feeling fragile and wanting someone to help take care of you. Living alone can have its benefits, but sometimes it's really lonely hey. Sending you some gentle, squishy hugs 💜

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

In response to: Re: Running

MissGremlinSenior Contributor09 Jan 2026, 9:21 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@avant-garde that would have been tough sweet.

3,191 - 3,200 of 3,558

1...319 320 321...356

SANE Forums is published by SANE with funding from the Australian Government Department of Health.

SANE Forums does not provide crisis support.
If you need immediate assistance, please see available crisis services.

Learn more about SANE and SANE services at sane.org

Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.