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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor25 Nov 2024, 10:10 pm AEDT

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor18 Feb 2025, 1:10 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@Ru-bee

You may need to remind me

I have to go to a meeting now, 30 minute drive, but I get coffee

In response to: Re: Running

Ru-beeModerator18 Feb 2025, 1:17 pm AEDT

Re: Running

Always happy to remind you @avant-garde

Enjoy your coffee! In fact it might be coffee time for me too

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator18 Feb 2025, 3:17 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@avant-garde How you travelling today lovely one?

Mmmm hope your coffee was good! Might be time for second coffee for me!

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor18 Feb 2025, 5:30 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@Jynx

More tired than I care to admit

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator18 Feb 2025, 5:39 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@avant-garde Oh I bet darlin. It's utterly exhausting to be stuck in a heightened state for ages hey. Anything on this arvo for ya?

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor18 Feb 2025, 5:43 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@Jynx I try to not give away the time of where I am...

Just quiz prep and Bible study

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator18 Feb 2025, 5:49 pm AEDT

Re: Running

Not quite sure what you mean by that first bit @avant-garde ? No obligation to explain it though if you don't want to.

What quiz ya prepping for?

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor18 Feb 2025, 5:58 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@Jynx

Assuming that it's afternoon... It's evening in most places in Australia at the moment

I organise a quiz for my church every year and it's this coming Saturday

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator18 Feb 2025, 6:15 pm AEDT

Re: Running

Oh! Haha you're right @avant-garde I was literally having this discussion w my partner a few weeks ago lol - they reckon 'evening' is any time after 6pm. I do agree, but my brain says that 'sun up = arvo sun down = evening' 😅

Oh that's so wholesome!! Need any help? I can be a brainstorm buddy if ya like!!

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor18 Feb 2025, 6:23 pm AEDT

Re: Running

@Jynx your partner is right, 6pm is evening, the tv guide says so

Unless you can get your TARDIS and come help me cut up cable cards there's not much left to be done

You can give me round ideas for next year though in about a month when I'm in planning mode

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.