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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@Ru-bee

Op shops

I'm sure @Jynx is jealous at that idea!

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

omg yes @avant-garde very much so!!

Nab any goodies?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

These are photos I prepared earlier

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Eee @avant-garde a bookeyring? With ANIMAL FACTS? Love!

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Yes and now I'm sitting in hungry jacks doing my homework for Bible study because it's saving me 30 minutes driving in a couple hours and making sure I get my homework done

Have you ever had teeth extracted?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde niiiice!

I have had 3 wisdom teeth out!! Awake for em too. You gonna have a tooth out hun 😲

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Yeah, 2 of them in 2 weeks...

This is something I need to talk about with someone...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Catch you tomorrow? Discuss more then?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Yes! Sorry @avant-garde I was in the webinar but indeed we can. Like I said you can always just post about it now, tag me, and I'll respond next time 😋 Night!

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

TW: abuse, neglect

Content/trigger warning
I was almost 15 when I started saying no to my dad... started being disobedient and rebellious...
For him, my teeth got in the way of my apparent purpose... he had control over my dentistry because I was a minor... he didn't take me...
We didn't always have toothpaste and my dad bought whatever was cheap... I didn't like the taste of it so for 2 years I didn't brush them...
When I had a toothache my dad had his... methods... until when I was 16 and kept screaming... the dentist have me a tube of toothpaste and it's the same brand I've been using since.
Once I turned 18 I had 5 extractions under general anaesthetic... going home though I was too drugged up to know my surroundings... he used it as a time to utilise me to a greater capacity... I was too delirious to fight back due to the pain killers...

The next extraction I remember was when I was trapped in the cultic rehab, again in extreme pain and they'd ignored me... until it was too late to save the tooth... they had finally taken me to the dentist and she used the blocks in my mouth, I kept screaming because it hurt and she didn't care, I was in rehab, she didn't know it wasn't for typical reasons I was there.
Afterwards the rehab staff refused me pain killers said that I was attention seeking and food was withheld for 3 days.

Another was when I kicked the dentist because the anaesthetic didn't work during it.

*curls up in a corner crying*

@Jynx @Ru-bee

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