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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

definitely a win @avant-garde i haven't hated today either. been tryna find cheap interstate flights and accommodations but ofc, everything is expensive so putting the booking stuff on hold for now.

do you have anything on this weekend?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@rav3n

  1. Clean up my unit
  2. Go watch the chosen season 5 parts 2+3
  3. Survive mother's day

You?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde clean up is always nice. how are you finding the chosen, is it accurate?

mother's day can rough hey, but i reckon you got this. i recall you saying you were gonna make yourself breakfast and get a gift, right? any ideas on what gift you're gonna get?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@rav3n

Clean up isn't nice, clean is triggering, but inspection week next week so it's necessary.

The chosen is a good way to get an idea about Christianity and Jesus and although there are theologically accurate instances and events, they take a lot of creative licence to what is in between.

My inner child has mother's Day gift sorted, breakfast isn't decided yet, we may just go get pancakes at McDonald's or something, or a yummy breakfast cup.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

oh i see, sorry for assuming @avant-garde hope you're gentle with yourself this weekend, and good luck with the inspections!

interesting! i've seen some religious-adaptation types of shows and always find them fascinating, but i never know how accurate they are. it's good to hear the chosen has a mix of theologically accurate and creative storytelling.

love the plan!! some maccas breakfast sounds nice, i miss having their pancakes hehe.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@rav3n

So my Friday's have taken a new rhythm

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde how so?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@rav3n

My old art teacher decided to blindside me and make it impossible for me to do my usual art class on a Friday with her.

So I've filled my Friday's with new things so it's more a rostered approach.

1st Friday in the month - open art house (we take our own art and work on it in a communal place)

2nd Friday in the month - monthly poetry group

3rd Friday - open art house

4th Friday - cooking workshop and swimming (with the homelessness support agency where my case manager is)

So today was poetry and it felt wonderful to share my love and passion for writing with someone else

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde how are you feeling about the new friday roster? open art house sounds really cool, keen to see the artwork you create!! cooking and swimming sounds great too, do you enjoying cooking?

aww i'm so glad you have a space to share your poetry with other poets!!! what does the poetry group involve- do you learn writing techniques? do workshopping? or is more about sharing and listening to each others work?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@rav3n

The open art house is probably the one I'm most anxious about, I don't know what to expect, but I'll be continuing the illustrations for my short story.

I prefer baking but I don't hate cooking, I prefer salads to stir frys though

The poetry group was just me and one other who I know already from my Thursday community group, we just shared our poetry, but I like that anyway.

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